Help with translation.From Arabic to English.Free Verse.

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easybreakable

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Hi everyone/teachers and members.

Your help is greatly appreciated, all suggestions could be taken seriously. I'm trying to improve my skills regarding translation, I haven't practiced that lately and I know for sure how uneasy this could be, but we are learning after all.
By the way no punctuation at all used by the poet in Arabic.


waiting for you

Waiting for you
the street
the passers-by
the sellers
the traffic men
the door of the house
the tiles
the coat rack
the plates
the spoons
and the milk cup.

Scarecrow's field
outside
cities of narration
crossed by faces without echo

They departed
leaving behind
cups and plates
yesterday's dinner
and a package of expressions

This little room
walls covered with my photos
the bed
the orange cloth
the dull make up table
its mirror
surprised my void.


 

Tdol

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Why do you use the two full-stops?
 

easybreakable

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Well, the lack of comments make me feel that I've done great work lol.... Please et me know if the piece doesn't make sense in English.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
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British English
Home Country
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Current Location
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It depends what you mean by sense- it wouldn't work as prose, but it evokes meaning. And I did like the last two lines of the second verse. :up:
 

easybreakable

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Member Type
Academic
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Arabic
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Current Location
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Thank you, I think emphasizing on the imagery withing every line made this piece poetry rather than prose, despite the fact, it's sometimes difficult for me to differentiate.
 
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