Essay from Russian CSE(common state exam)

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iMisha

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Hey, guys! Please, can you help me check my essay. I really need it.
The topic is "In any occupation discipline more important than talent" (200-250 words)

Nowadays some people believe that abidance by rules is the most important part of any employment while others claim that only talent can help a person achieve success. Both sides have their reasons. Let’s consider them.

Actually, I agree with the second point of view for a number of causes. Talent is a thing that has much more advantages than discipline. Well first of all, this is a good result because only gifted people can do the job perfectly (especially it's important in creative professions). Secondly, talented people can invent something completely new in their area. And in this case, their behavior takes a back seat. Thirdly, if capable people do what they like, our society will evolve faster.

However, opponents of this view say that discipline brings more benefits than dowry. According to them, if we do not follow the common rules, we will not be able to communicate with our team-mates and colleagues. But it can be even worse because lack of discipline can deprive us of work.

Nevertheless, I don’t agree with the opposing opinion because discipline can be brought up, and talent is a gift from above.

All in all, I still feel that talent is the most important thing in any occupation. And each person has to do what he does best while behavior can be corrected.
 

EnglishFix

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Nowadays some people believe that abidance by rules is the most important part of any employment while others claim that only talent can help a person achieve success. Both sides have their reasons. Let’s consider them.

Actually, I agree with the second point of view for a number of reasons. Talent is a thing that has many more advantages than discipline. Well first of all, this is a good advantage because only gifted people can do the job perfectly. It's especially important in creative professions. Secondly, talented people can invent something completely new in their area. And in this case, their behavior takes a back seat. Thirdly, if capable people do what they like, our society will evolve faster.

However, opponents of this view say that discipline brings more benefits than dowry. According to them, if we do not follow the common rules, we will not be able to communicate with our teammates and colleagues. It can be even worse because a lack of discipline can reduce the amount of work that is done in a workplace.

Nevertheless, I don’t agree with the opposing opinion because discipline can be brought up, and talent is a gift from above.

All in all, I still feel that talent is the most important thing in any occupation. Each person has to do what he does best while behavior can be corrected.
 

emsr2d2

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iMisha, is this the essay you will submit/duplicate for your exam?
 
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