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    #1

    Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Hey Guys,

    I have completed my cover letter for a company I am very interested in, however there is this one sentence that is giving me doubts. I would appreciate any help. Thanks

    "Two years before graduating from the University of British Columbia in Computer Engineering, I started working concurrently for RMV Motion as a software developer."

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattello View Post
    Hey Guys,

    I have completed my cover letter for a company I am very interested in, however there is this one sentence that is giving me doubts. I would appreciate any help. Thanks

    "Two years before graduating in Computer Engineering from the University of British Columbia, I started working for RMV Motion as a software developer."
    Bhai.

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    #3

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    For some reason the a word was left out of my copy and paste...

    "Two years before graduating from the University of British Columbia in Computer Engineering, I started working concurrently for RMV Motion as a software developer".

    I do not know if the adverb concurrently is being used correctly. Would appreciate feedback

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattello View Post
    For some reason the a word was left out of my copy and paste...

    "Two years before graduating from the University of British Columbia in Computer Engineering, I started working concurrently for RMV Motion as a software developer".

    I do not know if the adverb concurrently is being used correctly. Would appreciate feedback
    I believe that removal was Bhai's correction. I think the deletion changed your intended meaning. I have no problem with that adverb. It means that your work with RMV was at the same time you were in school.

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    #5

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Oh ok, the purpose of that sentence is to let them know that I was studying and working at the same time, Thanks for the reply.

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    #6

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    I believe that removal was Bhai's correction. I think the deletion changed your intended meaning. I have no problem with that adverb. It means that your work with RMV was at the same time you were in school.
    I think the "Two years before graduating..." says that, making "concurrently" unnecessary. With it, it is over wordy IMO.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 09-Jul-2013 at 00:35. Reason: Fixing typo.

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    #7

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Thank you for both your inputs, as it is a cover letter and the hiring manager will probably just give it a very quick glance before deciding to send it to the technical lead, I will keep the adverb at the risk of repetition, thank you both for your inputs I feel much more comfortable about my letter.

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    #8

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    I think the "Two years before graduating..." says that, making "concurrently" unneccessary. With it, it is over wordy IMO.
    But without it, it is possible that he quit school for a period of time to go to work. I think he wants them to know that he worked while he went to school.

  5. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Cover Letter Sentence Grammar doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattello View Post
    Thank you for both your inputs, as it is a cover letter and the hiring manager will probably just give it a very quick glance before deciding to send it to the technical lead, I will keep the adverb at the risk of repetition, thank you both for your inputs I feel much more comfortable about my letter.
    One never knows what will impress the reader. Good luck!

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