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    #1

    How about these two paragraphs?

    In recent years, feminists and politicians suggest that universities fill the course with the equal number of males and females. However, in practice, it's inappropriate to regulate such a rule for admission in tertiary institutions. All arguments would be weighed prior to reaching and reasoned conclusion.
    In the first place, the new regulation will be an obstacle to capable persons to enroll. Once such a coercive measure is undertaken, gender, prior to ability, is the main criteria for selecting undergraduate applicants in different majors. As a consequence, vaccancies for intelligent persons are limited in each subject. Impeded by the new arrangement based on the principle of gender equality, a proportion of talented people get fewer opportunities to be admitted to university.

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    #2

    Re: How about these two paragraphs?

    In recent years, feminists and politicians have suggested that universities fill their courses with an equal number of males and females. However, in practice, it's inappropriate to establish such a rule for admission in tertiary institutions. All arguments would have to be weighed prior to reaching a reasoned conclusion.
    In the first place, the new regulation would be an obstacle to capable persons who wish to enroll. Once such a coercive measure is undertaken, gender, more than ability, would be the main criteria for selecting undergraduate applicants in different majors. As a consequence, vacancies for intelligent persons are limited in each subject. Impeded by the new arrangement based on the principle of gender equality, a proportion of talented people would have fewer opportunities to be admitted to university.

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: How about these two paragraphs?

    gauchi, are you submitting these paragraphs to your teacher for grading?

    (You realize that your argument suggests that there is a major discrepancy in the difference in intelligence/talent in the sexes. If 100 people, 50 men and 40 women, were to apply for 60 places, do you really think that if 30 women and 30 men were selected, that there would be a great number of the 20 of one sex not selected who were more talented than all 30 of the other sex? Perhaps the final five or six places might be shuffled around - perhaps 3 or 4 men might get admitted in spite of the towering intellect of the women who would have otherwise placed ahead of them, but it's insulting to both men and woman to suggest that talent is not gender-neutral.)
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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