Hi, could anyone can help me look at this essay written by me. I want to take TOEFL exam, but I don't know how to judge my essay. Following is one of my essays.Thank you very much:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends

Few things can be more magical than enjoying our beautiful lives with our friends, whether they are new friends or older ones. Friendship is a mirror reflecting us and thus is essential to our daily life. Old friends, admittedly, is appealing as they are well-acquainted with us either about our study or our habits . However, in terms of new friends, granted, bring us into a new niche to breath new air and which also in turn can help us better appreciate our old friendship. I prefer to have both old and new friends, because as the psychological and physiological effects it can have on us remain superior to what we can get from either of them.

We should maintain our relationship with bubby for two main reasons. First, old friends contribute to achieving a sense of security, love, acceptance, companionship, and personal worth. For example, if we feel thrill and sensation it is the old friend that go to the theater or a concert to afford consolation and comfort. Few would deny that we would like to ask for our old friends to take care of our pets when we go out to travel or go business since they better know the animals’ preference than the new ones. What's more we also can come up with our demands with no hesitation. Therefore on the whole, within them, we experience companionship, a sense of achievement and an overall sense of well-being.

Furthermore, old friends are fundamental because they promote our performance in every aspect, For instance, the stronger the ties of a football team playing together, the better their record is. Every time I was ill old friends generally company me, talk with me in order to comfort me. Those cares would promote my emotional, physical and mental development and thus boost efficiency of work or study.

And I also admit that there may be some advantages that the new friends would result in
as they can enlarge our outlook by bringing refreshing knowledge. Traveling in foreign countries, for example, we meet with various new people. We often exchange our culture and beautiful specific scenery in our motherland. Through that not only we have better grasp of our own country and raise our cultural awareness, but also afford the opportunity to enjoy exotic beauty and mystery. Aside from that blessing, we are likely to be hurt by the new friends because they are not so familiar with us as the old friends. In that sense, making friends with new person is nice way for feeling grateful to old friends.

Overall, I believe both old and new friends plays a critical role in promoting out life quality, which has been empirically proven by our lives. Although some people are more interested in making new friends, it is unwise to say old friends is of no significance for us .