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    Can you correct my IELTS Writing Task 1?

    Can you correct my IELTS Writing Task 1?

    Some people believe that governments should fine industries that pollute the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Nowadays, technology has been growing and it has a great impact on different aspects of human life. Although technology has improved human life by providing the new facilities, it is produced large amount of toxic gases resulting polluted environment. It is agreed that the government should fine industries which polluted environment. This will be proven by analyzing the negative effects of these industries on the human life as well as the positive influence of applying large amount of taxes to owners of these factories on reducing the pollution.
    The important goal of technology is improving the quality of human life. On the other hand, living in the safe environment which does not has any danger for human health is one of key factors in feeling happiness and being satisfies. Industries by producing pollution has many negative effects in human life. For example, the number of people who suffer from cancer due to the presence of toxic gases in the environment increase dramatically. Thus applying the methods such as fining the industries polluting the environment leads to improving the quality of human life
    Owners of factories do not show any eager in order to improve the instrument and machinery of factory. Researches show that using the ancient machinery in factories produces more pollution in comparison with the ones equipped with the new instruments. In this direction, governments can force the factory's owners to change their machinery in order to reduce the pollutions. In many advanced countries, for instance USA, using these methods leads to reducing the pollution produced by industries comparing with the third world countries. After analyzing this, it is clear that fining is effective.
    To Sum up, it can be concluded that implying some laws for reducing the pollution results in improving the quality of human life. It is expected in addition to employing the punishment, government helps to those factories that are not able to change their machinery.
    Last edited by Tdol; 10-Aug-2013 at 14:47. Reason: Tidying up link mistake

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