Could anyone please review my motivation letter posted below for PhD admission..

Dear Prof. XXX,
I am writing to apply to PhD position in your group on Graphene-based Nanotechnology. The reason behind my interest is in recent years due to lack of advanced technology the world faced so-many hazardous situations (e.g. Tsunami, terrorism etc.,) which costed destruction of lives, infrastructure and imbalance of economic stability. At present, there is huge demand for advanced technology which can predicts these changes in advance. My career ambition is to play vital role in developing advanced technology with specific expertise in graphene based Nano Electro Mechanical Systems (NEMS).
With interest in science after completing schooling (10+2), I took Bachelor of Science to enrich basic knowledge in mathematics, physics and chemistry. During my under graduation days, I used to surprise about outcomes of physics experiments for examples calculation of charge density in a conductor by simply applying voltage and magnetic field across the specimen (Hall-effect). With this curiosity, I chose my path to continue in Physics and to further improve my knowledge, to know applications of the subject I joined Master of Science in Applied Physics at XXX, YYY, India. Final semester project in Post Graduation ingrained ambition towards research. My research career in nanotechnology began in early 2010. After completing Master of Science, I joined Prof. XXX’s group, University of XXX in a one year project through UGC-CAS, where I worked on “Developing chromium diboride thin films for multifunctional applications using a cost-effective thermal evaporation process”. In that project I worked with a group of people, which helped me to build team-work skills. The efforts put by me and my team was resulted in the form of two publications in one year.
Motivation gained from above project pushed me to give entrance exam for Master of Technology in Nano Science and Technology, University of Hyderabad one of the top universities in India and I secured fourth rank in entrance exam. After one year of course work, I placed the first out of ten members in the class. During my course work, I was fascinated by graphene properties and its applications in various fields. This led me to take my M.Tech dissertation work on “Development of graphene based hybrid/composite materials for Elecro-Magnetic Interference (EMI) shielding applications”.
Besides to this academic schedule I attended some of scientific research conferences, DAAD seminars about research opportunities in Germany and there I met professors and scientists. Through our conversation, I learnt that their emphasis was on the application of practical technologies. By considering above aspects I strongly decided Germany is destination to fulfill my research goals, because it is one of the best countries in European Union, superior in technology, strong political background, rich in economy and culture. Moreover, I learned living in abroad is not easy because of different cultures, different languages, different customs and different ways of thinking. However, I enjoy challenges as well as meeting people and learning new customs. Thus, I am confident that I can succeed in any environment.
While I was searching about universities in Germany, I learnt about research environment at University of XXX from my professor Dr. XXX, who pursued his PhD degree from this campus and especially encouraged me to apply PhD position in your group (XXX), recently started group working first time on graphene based nanotechnology at University of XXX, Germany. Furthermore, I am convinced that the PhD position on graphene based nanotechnology meets my research career goals. Given my passion, commitment and dedication, I am positive that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to exceed your expectation for this PhD programme.
Thank you for kind consideration, and I look forward to receiving your acceptance.
Yours sincerely,