[Vocabulary] Message to a social network

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Cristina.W

Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Romanian
Home Country
Romania
Current Location
Romania
I have recently thought of sending a feedback message to a social network, and I wish you would tell me if I made any errors:
"It would be better if people's comments did not disappear when they deactivate their account. That way, the abscence of certain comments would not be so confusing and inesthetic. So I suggest although someone's account could not be accessed, the comments they have left before deactivation should still be seen."
Did I miss any comma?
Is it too stilted? :D
Thank you.
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I have recently thought of sending a feedback message to a social network, and I wish you would tell me if I made any errors:
"It would be better if people's comments did not disappear when they deactivate their account. That way, the absence of certain comments would not be so confusing and inesthetic (?). So I suggest [STRIKE] although [/STRIKE] that while someone's account [STRIKE] could [/STRIKE] might not be [STRIKE] accessed [/STRIKE] accessible , the comments they have left before deactivation should still be [STRIKE] seen [/STRIKE] available."
Did I miss any comma?
Is it too stilted? :D
Thank you.

Suggestions.
 
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