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    #1

    That night

    Please would you help me with these two sentences and correct my mistakes.

    That night he slept intermittently. It was not only because of the hard floor under his back, but rather because of anxiety, which filled every cell, every atom of his being.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: That night

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Please would you help me with these two sentences and correct my mistakes.

    That night he slept intermittently. It was not only because of the hard floor under his back, but rather because of anxiety, which filled every cell, every atom of his being.
    They are OK.

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: That night

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Please would you help me with these two sentences and correct my mistakes.

    That night he slept intermittently. It was not only because of the hard floor under his back, but rather because of anxiety, which filled every cell, every atom of his being.
    In my opinion, it should be either:

    It was not only because of the hard floor under his back, but also because....

    or

    It was not because of the hard floor under his back, but rather because....

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    #4

    Re: That night

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Please would you help me with these two sentences and correct my mistakes.

    That night he slept intermittently. It was not only because of the hard floor under his back, but rather because of anxiety, which filled every cell, every atom of his being.
    Or, "It was not only because of the hard floor on (or 'upon') which he slept, but....." Is "under his back" really significant?

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