[Essay] Could anyone help me edit my short essay?

[Yossarian23]

I've just completed a one-page essay that is in dire need of editing. The ideas are all in place and the grammar is good, but the wording and flow don't seem right. I'd appreciate it if you could improve it for me. If you don't mind, I prefer sending the essay via email. Thanks very much!

 

[emsr2d2]

Please note that:

1. We do not help with homework assignments. If you are going to submit this essay to a teacher/tutor or use it in an exam, we cannot help.

2. We do not accept contact by email. If you want the users to look at something, post it publicly on the forum.

3. If you post an essay, post it in short sections - long pieces do not tend to get any attention.