How to address a young or elderly lady and man

Status
Not open for further replies.

Steven Mai

Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
Vietnam
Hi all, I barely hear a word to address a young (old) lady, like we use ma'am or sir to address an adult lady and man, but what do we say when we are trying to call a young (old) lady and man? I heard GUY and GIRL, but I find it a little informal or we only use to a familiar person. I also heard miss, is that correct?
Thank you in advance :)
 

I.M. Knott

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2013
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
"Ma'am" is fine for an old lady, or any adult woman. Some women, however, are rather sensitive about this usage. They feel that "ma'am" suggests an "older" woman than they perceive themselves to be.
"Miss" is technically correct for an unmarried female of any age, even for young girls. If you don't know her well, "Miss" is always a safe bet.
"Boy" refers to a male under 12. Use his first name or "young man" in addressing a boy directly. As he matures, "young man" is still appropriate for a long time. "Sir" implies some degree of respect for the man so-addressed.
 

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
In British English, police officers, customs officials, shop assistants and restaurant staff may use 'sir' and 'madam' when addressing adults. They generally use no form of address when addressing young people.

Most of us do not use any form of address when speaking to people whose name we don't know. We simply have no BrE equivalent yo the French 'monsieur/madame', the Spanish 'señor/señora', etc
 

Raymott

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
English
Home Country
Australia
Current Location
Australia
The same applies in Australia as what 5jj said. We simply don't have terms for addressing young people we don't know.
 

I.M. Knott

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2013
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
A lot of young Americans seem to be using "dude," "bro," "man" and similar terms in addressing their peers. Do Australians say "mate,"
or is that just a stereotype?
 

probus

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 7, 2011
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
I was a bit distressed when people began addressing me as "sir". I felt they were using the word very prematurely. ;)
 

JMurray

Key Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2010
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
New Zealand
Current Location
Australia
not a teacher

A lot of young Americans seem to be using "dude," "bro," "man" and similar terms in addressing their peers. Do Australians say "mate," or is that just a stereotype?

"Mate" remains very common in Aust/NZ and "man" has been quite common for some time. I do hear "dude" and "bro" increasingly, "bro" being particularly associated with Maori English although its use is much wider.
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hi all, I barely hear a word to address a young (old) lady, like we use ma'am or sir to address an adult lady and man, but what do we say when we are trying to call a young (old) lady and man? I heard GUY and GIRL, but I find it a little informal or we only use to a familiar person. I also heard miss, is that correct?
Thank you in advance :)

"Sir" and "Ma'am" work well for adults (older adults in the case of females). "Miss" can work well for younger adult females and younger. "Lad" can work for younger males. "Young man" and "Young woman" can also be used for younger males and females.
 

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
"Lad" can work for younger males. "Young man" and "Young woman" can also be used for younger males and females.
I recommend that you do not use any of these when speaking to British young men. They can sound old-fashioned and/or condescending.
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I recommend that you do not use any of these when speaking to British young men. They can sound old-fashioned and/or condescending.

They are fine in the US.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
They are fine in the US.

I agree with 5jj about them sounding odd these days in BrE. Can I just check then, MNY, if you saw a 15-year-old female in front of you in the street drop a $50 bill, would you try to attract her attention by shouting "Young woman, I think you dropped something"? That sounds very strange to me and I can't imagine hearing any of my American friends using it. I would expect them to shout "Ma'am, I think you dropped something" or just "Pardon me/Excuse me, I think you dropped some money" etc.
 

UM Chakma

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Bengali; Bangla
Home Country
Bangladesh
Current Location
Singapore
"Ma'am" is fine for an old lady, or any adult woman. Some women, however, are rather sensitive about this usage. They feel that "ma'am" suggests an "older" woman than they perceive themselves to be.
"Miss" is technically correct for an unmarried female of any age, even for young girls. If you don't know her well, "Miss" is always a safe bet.
"Boy" refers to a male under 12. Use his first name or "young man" in addressing a boy directly. As he matures, "young man" is still appropriate for a long time. "Sir" implies some degree of respect for the man so-addressed.


Is "Miss" okay for age between 30 to 40(specially married)?
 

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
Is "Miss" okay for age between 30 to 40(specially married)?
In BrE, 'Miss' is commonly used only by pupils in primary and secondary schools addressing their (married or unmarried) female teachers.
 

Barb_D

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I agree with 5jj about them sounding odd these days in BrE. Can I just check then, MNY, if you saw a 15-year-old female in front of you in the street drop a $50 bill, would you try to attract her attention by shouting "Young woman, I think you dropped something"? That sounds very strange to me and I can't imagine hearing any of my American friends using it. I would expect them to shout "Ma'am, I think you dropped something" or just "Pardon me/Excuse me, I think you dropped some money" etc.
If it were clearly a teenager, I would not use "ma'am." I'd use "young lady." But I'm old enough to be that teen's mother. A teen would almost certainly use "dude" for a male teen. I have no idea what they'd use for a female teen. When mine wake up, I'll ask them.
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I agree with 5jj about them sounding odd these days in BrE. Can I just check then, MNY, if you saw a 15-year-old female in front of you in the street drop a $50 bill, would you try to attract her attention by shouting "Young woman, I think you dropped something"? That sounds very strange to me and I can't imagine hearing any of my American friends using it. I would expect them to shout "Ma'am, I think you dropped something" or just "Pardon me/Excuse me, I think you dropped some money" etc.

I doubt that any 15-year-old American girl would appreciate being called ma'am. I know women in their 30s and 40s who would object. Yes, I would certainly say "Young Lady" or "Miss" to the girl in question.
 

konungursvia

VIP Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
The same applies in Australia as what 5jj said. We simply don't have terms for addressing young people we don't know.

What about "mate?" And is there any truth to "Sheila?"
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
I doubt that any 15-year-old American girl would appreciate being called ma'am. I know women in their 30s and 40s who would object. Yes, I would certainly say "Young Lady" or "Miss" to the girl in question.

Ah, so "Young lady" or "Miss". I was thrown by one of your previous posts where you said you would use "Young woman" for a young female whose identity you didn't know. That was what I thought sounded very unlikely. I wasn't sure if "Excuse me, miss, you've dropped something" would work - glad to know it would.
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Ah, so "Young lady" or "Miss". I was thrown by one of your previous posts where you said you would use "Young woman" for a young female whose identity you didn't know. That was what I thought sounded very unlikely. I wasn't sure if "Excuse me, miss, you've dropped something" would work - glad to know it would.

Yes, I did write "Young Woman" earlier. 'Young Lady" would be better.
 

Raymott

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
English
Home Country
Australia
Current Location
Australia
What about "mate?" And is there any truth to "Sheila?"
We don't call a woman "Sheila". A woman is a sheila. It's never been a term of address. Even so, I haven't heard it in ages in real life.

As for 'mate', yes you have a point. You can't always use it though. It's a bit like the American "buddy, pal", etc. They aren't always appropriate. I think the OP is looking for a term that, by definition, is always appropriate and should be used when you don't know someone's name.
 

Barb_D

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
So I asked my teen last night what she would say. She agreed with "ma'am" for an adult female, "sir" for an adult male, and "dude" for a male teen, but was at a loss for a female peer. She thought she'd probably just say "Excuse me!" loudly.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top