S
sr005307
Guest
I'm no studying hard to get a great score on TOEFL test, but it is so difficult. Somebody help me to improve my writing skills. I just want a simple correction, so you don't have to read it so hard. But please score and correct.
According to the database of Korean TV council, the 40% of children are watching TV more than talking with their friends and family. This is dangerous example considering the kids are asset of future world. However, the unsocial kids are only because of the TV? If then, every children with TV in the house should have had problems with communications. Almost every family has the TV but they usually don't have problems. So I disagree with the statement that television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Firstly, television is not the pacemaker which makes the kids adrenalin pumps, but television is just a machine which should be chosen by viewer to be watched. Secondly, the real problem of inability of communication is vicious character of a few television users.
Most of all, television is a machine not a human which could not tell people to watch itself. It is just a machine. Many debates for machines' position for human life, just like is it a tool for convenience or the dangerous material? The conclusion is different by people, but I think people could use technology by their choice to fight in the war or to cure sick people. Alike technology, television itself also helps people to learn foreign language or cultural habits, and at the same time could destroy communication among friends or families partially. It is because kids watched it disregarding their obligation but only fulfilling their satisfaction.
Furthermore, television itself is not only responsible for inability of communication but also the vicious character of a few television users. I cannot deny that television-addicted people usually have disorder in communication, but they were not normal before they are addicted. They just chose television for their unsatisfactory mind to have fun, to fulfil their crazy thinking toward television. These kind of people usually choose crimes, violence, or drugs etc. Considering them, television is better than all of them.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that television has destroyed communication among friends and family. First one is that television is only a machine, so the fault through television is done only by users. Second one is that not only television is the sinner of the destroyed communication problem, but also the vicious character of a few television users. In the near future, other than television, many kinds of machines or technologies are to be blame because of diverse problems. Alike television, these are just a problem of users not responsibility of machine itself.
According to the database of Korean TV council, the 40% of children are watching TV more than talking with their friends and family. This is dangerous example considering the kids are asset of future world. However, the unsocial kids are only because of the TV? If then, every children with TV in the house should have had problems with communications. Almost every family has the TV but they usually don't have problems. So I disagree with the statement that television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Firstly, television is not the pacemaker which makes the kids adrenalin pumps, but television is just a machine which should be chosen by viewer to be watched. Secondly, the real problem of inability of communication is vicious character of a few television users.
Most of all, television is a machine not a human which could not tell people to watch itself. It is just a machine. Many debates for machines' position for human life, just like is it a tool for convenience or the dangerous material? The conclusion is different by people, but I think people could use technology by their choice to fight in the war or to cure sick people. Alike technology, television itself also helps people to learn foreign language or cultural habits, and at the same time could destroy communication among friends or families partially. It is because kids watched it disregarding their obligation but only fulfilling their satisfaction.
Furthermore, television itself is not only responsible for inability of communication but also the vicious character of a few television users. I cannot deny that television-addicted people usually have disorder in communication, but they were not normal before they are addicted. They just chose television for their unsatisfactory mind to have fun, to fulfil their crazy thinking toward television. These kind of people usually choose crimes, violence, or drugs etc. Considering them, television is better than all of them.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that television has destroyed communication among friends and family. First one is that television is only a machine, so the fault through television is done only by users. Second one is that not only television is the sinner of the destroyed communication problem, but also the vicious character of a few television users. In the near future, other than television, many kinds of machines or technologies are to be blame because of diverse problems. Alike television, these are just a problem of users not responsibility of machine itself.
