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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Sep 2013
    • Posts: 1

    Exclamation Essay needs checking ASAP!

    Hello to who ever you are. Could you please check my essay? Its due to 23/09/2013 :(

    Mobile Industry Rivals
    Nowadays, you probably won’t find anyone in UK who doesn’t own a mobile phone. Simply because we wouldn’t be able to imagine our life without the device. At the moment, the major mobile platforms out there are Apple and Android. There are two latest mobile phones they have released this Summer 2013: Samsung Galaxy S4(Android), iPhone5s(c)(Apple).
    I will focus more on S4(Android) range because I have so many facts on how it surpasses iPhone5. I think, the most innovative thing about this specific range of devices is that you can get a handset suitable to your lifestyle.
    For example, you can have S4 mini if you have small fingers and you wouldn’t really benefit from a 5 inch screen. Most potential buyers for this device would probably be ladies. The other two handsets are S4 zoom and S4 active. S4 zoom offers you a stunning 16MP picture quality which may be beneficial to some people who take their photography quite seriously. And finally, S4 active is for people who do sports, like jogging, swimming or if you are a lifeguard on the beach, simply because it can be not only submerged under 1m of water but it can also defy dust and sand. By going this innovative route of satisfying different customer needs, Android managed to do something that Apple never done before which puts it in the lead in terms of product variety.
    What Apple really lacks is amount of new ideas that Android evidently has. On top of that, Android does not overcharge people for the devices they sell and even helps to save money. For example, you have a choice of having an extra 32GB (64GB in some cases) memory card in your phone for something as little as £30 while you would have to pay hundreds of pounds in order to get a 64GB version of your iPhone. Same thing with battery . You can not remove your battery from the iPhone so if your battery is no longer giving your handset enough power you might as well get yourself a new iPhone which would cost you a lot. While when it comes to Android, you could easily replace your old battery with a new one. Thanks to these customer friendly ideas that Android has, it will increase the market position above all the competitors.
    Due to its success since 2005, Android has really grown as a global mobile company. It created a lot job opportunities for software (application) developers, engineers. It also, helped out other giant companies such as Motorola, Lenovo, Sony, etc. to continue selling their mobile devices using Android as their main operational system.
    Despite the awareness of being on the top, android will not relax until it upgrades most of the devices we use nowadays in order to work in sync and easier to use. That way a lot of companies would benefit from cooperating with Android, so that they could upsell their production at a higher success rate.
    In conclusion its probably worth saying that its good that Apple doesn't give up, for it is a great inspiration for Android to learn from its mistakes which potentially may lead to a perfect system that everyone could benefit from.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 50,063

    Re: Essay needs checking ASAP!

    Welcome to the forum.

    We cannot help with homework or assignments. If your essay is due on 23/9, then you have until that day to write the best essay you can. After it has been marked and you have seen your teacher's score and comments, you can come back to us to help explain any of the corrections.

    I am going to close this thread now so that no-one accidentally corrects your essay.

    Please note that your opening line should perhaps have been "Hi everyone". Saying "Hello to whoever you are" is not natural.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 22-Sep-2013 at 12:01.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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