[Essay] Homework correction: Comment a table

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JeffBuckley

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Hi!
Could you please help me with my English homework. You'd just have to read through it and tell me my mistakes :) We have to comment on a table with information about minimum age limits in four different countries:

First of all I was surprised to see that you can leave school in Pakistan at any time. Pakistan is still a developing country where many partents need their children to help them with the work. In my opinion this is the reason why most young people in Pakistan do not get a good job and are badly off. Next I noticed that, according to the Pakistan law, you are only in marriage allowed to have sex. I think this law depends on the religious opinion of the Pakistan government and many people living there. After that I was not surprised to read that in Peru and in Pakistan the minimum age for marriage is lower for girls than for boys. On the one hand you can not deny that females are adult earlier than boys, but on the other hand this law seems to encourage the forced marriage of young girls. I think it is great that in some states of the USA you can get your driving licence at the age of 14 or 15. I believe that the earlier you start learning how to drive a car, the better you get in it. Moreover I noticed that buying alcohol in Pakistan is illegal for all. But this could be another consequence of the Muslim religion. Another point I would like to mention is the permission to smoke at the age of twelve in Peru. It is a fact that the highest percentage of smokers started smoking before turning 18. That is why smoking should be forbidden for teenagers and children. Finally I was surprised to read that the age of criminal responsibility in Pakistan is seven years and in some states of the US it is even 6 years. The way I see it, this age is too early to be blamed for crimes.
It would be so nice if you could correct my mistakes! :-D
 

MikeNewYork

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American English
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United States
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Hi!
Could you please help me with my English homework. You'd just have to read through it and tell me my mistakes :) We have to comment on a table with information about minimum age limits in four different countries:

First of all I was surprised to see that you can leave school in Pakistan at any time. Pakistan is still a developing country where many partents need their children to help them with the work. In my opinion this is the reason why most young people in Pakistan do not get a good job and are badly off. Next I noticed that, according to the Pakistan law, you are only in marriage allowed to have sex. I think this law depends on the religious opinion of the Pakistan government and many people living there. After that I was not surprised to read that in Peru and in Pakistan the minimum age for marriage is lower for girls than for boys. On the one hand you can not deny that females are adult earlier than boys, but on the other hand this law seems to encourage the forced marriage of young girls. I think it is great that in some states of the USA you can get your driving licence at the age of 14 or 15. I believe that the earlier you start learning how to drive a car, the better you get in it. Moreover I noticed that buying alcohol in Pakistan is illegal for all. But this could be another consequence of the Muslim religion. Another point I would like to mention is the permission to smoke at the age of twelve in Peru. It is a fact that the highest percentage of smokers started smoking before turning 18. That is why smoking should be forbidden for teenagers and children. Finally I was surprised to read that the age of criminal responsibility in Pakistan is seven years and in some states of the US it is even 6 years. The way I see it, this age is too early to be blamed for crimes.
It would be so nice if you could correct my mistakes! :-D

Sorry, but we don't help with homework. Your teacher wants to see your work, not ours.
 

Barb_D

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However, after your teacher has corrected/graded your writing, if you have questions about those corrections, please ask us then.
 
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