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    #1

    Could you check these sentences, please?

    Hello


    Do these sentences need to be corrected?


    1.‘Don’t be afraid, darling. It’s not so easy to strangle me. I think I could protect myself against your passionate arms.

    2.No one has ever died out of it.

    3.They coudn't imagine their life without each other.



    4.And then when she came to herself she realized that something, that she was most afraid of had happened.

    5.The lifeless body of her admired husband lay on their bed next to her...

    Thanks

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    #2

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    Are these your own sentences, Sondra? If so, what was your purpose in writing them?

    If you had been a student rather than an 'Other', we'd have thought this was homework.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 27-Sep-2013 at 11:58.

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    #3

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    No, this is not homework and I am not a student. These sentences are taken from a short story.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 27-Sep-2013 at 12:24. Reason: Deleting 'a' before 'homework'.

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    #4

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    2 and 4 need to be corrected.

    The context would have been helpful...title and author for example.

    Rover

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    #5

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    This is my mother's short story. (Writing short stories is her hobby). It is posted on this website http://storymash.com/u/Tamara35/vifiguke/ The name of the story is ''The Love''.

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    #6

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    I would use "lives" in #3.

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    #7

    Re: Could you check these sentences, please?

    Quote Originally Posted by sondra View Post
    Hello


    Do these sentences need to be corrected?


    1.‘Don’t be afraid, darling. It’s not so easy to strangle me. I think I could protect myself against your passionate arms.

    2.No one has ever died out of it.

    3.They coudn't imagine their life without each other.



    4.And then when she came to herself she realized that something, that she was most afraid of had happened.

    5.The lifeless body of her admired husband lay on their bed next to her...

    Thanks
    I would also use "lives" in number 3. In number 4, the word "herself" is problematic. On first reading, "came to herself" threw me. Then I realized that "came to" probably meant "woke up". The word "herself" is not needed there.

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