[General] the review of the definition: girl

[dodonaomik]

The problem suddenly appeared in my brain, and I wanna know the answer very much.


In China, if I fall in love with a female（a Chinese） who is 34 years old and unmarried, I will call her "girl" when I text messages her in English.
【In fact, generally, most Chinese will think a female should be called "girl" when she's a virgin and conversely a woman. 】



MY QUESTION:
If I stay in America and have a female colleague（who is 34 years old American and unmarried ） at work, is it right/polite/proper if I say "Girl, would you have a cup with me"?



Thanks in advance!

 

[dodonaomik]

Although in my memory I know I should say "Hello, would you have a cup with me?" or "Anna(if her name is Anna), would you have a cup with me?" , I really wanna know whether it is right if I say "Girl, would you have a cup with me?".

 

[emsr2d2]

If you said that to me at any age, I would think you very rude. If someone asks me out on a date, I expect them to address me by name. At the age of 34, most females wouldn't consider themselves "girls". Bear in mind, though, that even into their fifties and sixties, you might hear some women referring to a forthcoming evening out with female friends as "I'm going out with the girls on Saturday night".

Also note that you don't ask someone to have a "cup" with you - you ask them out for a drink, a coffee, a cup of coffee/tea, a meal etc.

 

[dodonaomik]

emsr2d2 :
Thanks for your great help.
Oh, my gosh! The [STRIKE]Chinglish[/STRIKE] is wrong totally.
I will review the definition about girl and bear in mind that I should use "have a cup of coffee/tea".


In fact, some very simple English words are misused widespreadly in China.

 

[emsr2d2]

emsr2d2 :
Thanks for your great help.
Oh, my gosh! The [STRIKE]Chinglish[/STRIKE] Chinglish is totally wrong. [strike]totally[/strike]
I will review the definition/usage [strike]about[/strike] of girl and bear in mind that I should use "have a cup of coffee/tea".


In fact, some very simple English words are widely misused [strike]widespreadly[/strike] in China.

Some very simple English words are misused everywhere! ;-)

Note my amendments to your post above. We say "totally wrong", not "wrong totally" and "widely misused", not "misused widespreadly". In fact "widespreadly" is not a word. You can say "The misuse of this word is widespread". I think you meant to underline the word "Chinglish" rather than crossing it out.

 

[Barb_D]

First, I must completely agree with Ems that if someone said "Girl, you want to have a cup of coffee?" I'd be really annoyed.

However, I think it's important to point out that you WILL hear "Girl" as a form of address among peers in certain exchanges - usually, giving a compliment.
Girl, you are ROCKING that dress. (Anna, you look very nice in that dress.)
Girl, you are breaking hearts tonight! (Anna, that's the third guy you turned down when he asked if he could buy you a drink.)

You kind of emphasize the first part of the word: GUUURl, you are.. It has a rather "urban" feel to it.

Do NOT use this with your grandmother, the person serving you communion in church, etc.

 

[MikeNewYork]

The problem suddenly appeared in my brain, and I wanna know the answer very much.


In China, if I fall in love with a female（a Chinese） who is 34 years old and unmarried, I will call her "girl" when I text messages her in English.
【In fact, generally, most Chinese will think a female should be called "girl" when she's a virgin and conversely a woman. 】



MY QUESTION:
If I stay in America and have a female colleague（who is 34 years old American and unmarried ） at work, is it right/polite/proper if I say "Girl, would you have a cup with me"?



Thanks in advance!

I hate to ask you this, but how would a Chinese man know, in advance of intimacy, that a 34-year-old unmarried woman is virgin?

 

[emsr2d2]

I hate to ask you this, but how would a Chinese man know, in advance of intimacy, that a 34-year-old unmarried woman is virgin?

I wondered the exact same thing! I'm also intrigued by the idea of falling in love with someone before you've even invited them out for a coffee. Maybe love at first sight is rife in China.

 

[dodonaomik]

Some very simple English words are misused everywhere! ;-)

Note my amendments to your post above. We say "totally wrong", not "wrong totally" and "widely misused", not "misused widespreadly". In fact "widespreadly" is not a word. You can say "The misuse of this word is widespread". I think you meant to underline the word "Chinglish" rather than crossing it out.

memsr2d2:
Thank you so much!
Hehe, maybe in my understanding, Chinglish conceals the false using of English， so I wanna cross it out.

 

[dodonaomik]

First, I must completely agree with Ems that if someone said "Girl, you want to have a cup of coffee?" I'd be really annoyed.

However, I think it's important to point out that you WILL hear "Girl" as a form of address among peers in certain exchanges - usually, giving a compliment.
Girl, you are ROCKING that dress. (Anna, you look very nice in that dress.)
Girl, you are breaking hearts tonight! (Anna, that's the third guy you turned down when he asked if he could buy you a drink.)

You kind of emphasize the first part of the word: GUUURl, you are.. It has a rather "urban" feel to it.

Do NOT use this with your grandmother, the person serving you communion in church, etc.

Barb_D:
:lol:Thank you very very very much!
And you urge me to understand that the basic word "girl" contains a kind of particular culture full of warmth.

 

[dodonaomik]

I hate to ask you this, but how would a Chinese man know, in advance of intimacy, that a 34-year-old unmarried woman is virgin?

MikeNewYork:
:shock:Ok, I must explain it briefly.
Of course, if I fall in love her, I am naturally unnecessary to know whether she is a virgin or not.So, it seems polite to call her "girl" when I text messages to her in English.
Just in many Chinese hearts and consciousness, "girl" refers to a virgin and woman not.


Now, I know that it is very rude and foolish in native speakers' eyes although it is ok and right in China.

 

[emsr2d2]

I understand that you call someone "girl" if she is still a virgin and "woman" if she is not. Even though that is alien to our culture, I understand that it is a fact in your culture. However, I do not understand how you find out whether someone is still a virgin before you decide what to call her. Do you assume everyone is a virgin and call them "girl" until (somehow) you find out that she has actually had sex?

 

[dodonaomik]

I wondered the exact same thing! I'm also intrigued by the idea of falling in love with someone before you've even invited them out for a coffee. Maybe love at first sight is rife in China.

emsr2d2:

Love at first sight is rife?... oh! No, no, no...:lol:
In fact, in Chinese rural areas, a matchmaker will usually give a girl's cell phone's number to a boy, and let them text messages or have a chat to be acquainted with each other. It is called "fall in love (Chinglish ?)" Of course, thay probably don't love each other!


Afterwards if they both "have a good feel (Chinglish too?)", they will date and ... and ... so on.;-)




At last I feel English, as a language, should make our life more comfortable and exchange cordiality, kindness and love, and ought not to be a tool for scores, examinations and tests. And essentially English should be supported by a culture but not the grammer although the grammar can help students to learn a foreigh language more quickly. Obviously it is a deficiency in English teaching of China.

 

[dodonaomik]

I understand that you call someone "girl" if she is still a virgin and "woman" if she is not. Even though that is alien to our culture, I understand that it is a fact in your culture. However, I do not understand how you find out whether someone is still a virgin before you decide what to call her. Do you assume everyone is a virgin and call them "girl" until (somehow) you find out that she has actually had sex?

:-o

emsr2d2:
Haha, maybe it is probably really hard to explain, but let me try!
Yeah, you cannot and are really unnecessary to find out she's a virgin or not.
But she will be called "girl" if she is unmarried although she's not a virgin( in fact). No reason? No why? Yes, it is a common phenomenon in China. Can you understand the phenomenon?

 

[emsr2d2]

:-o

emsr2d2:
Haha, maybe it is probably really hard to explain, but let me try!
Yeah, you cannot and are really unnecessary to find out she's a virgin or not.
But she will be called "girl" if she is unmarried although she's not a virgin( in fact). No reason? No why? Yes, it is a common phenomenon in China. Can you understand the phenomenon?

OK, I realise that this is unconnected to the English language and one of the other moderators might move part of this thread but it is linked to your original question. I am truly interested in how it works there. So I have a couple of follow-up questions:

1) Is the word "girl" used to all unmarried females, regardless of their age?
2) Is the word "girl" used for a married female who remains a virgin?
3) Would it be an insult to use the word "woman" to an unmarried female, because it might suggest that she is no longer a virgin even though she is not yet married?

 

[MikeNewYork]

MikeNewYork:
:shock:Ok, I must explain it briefly.
Of course, if I fall in love her, I am naturally unnecessary to know whether she is a virgin or not.So, it seems polite to call her "girl" when I text messages to her in English.
Just in many Chinese hearts and consciousness, "girl" refers to a virgin and woman not.


Now, I know that it is very rude and foolish in native speakers' eyes although it is ok and right in China.

I don't think it is rude or foolish. It is your culture. Thanks for the answer.

 

[dodonaomik]

OK, I realise that this is unconnected to the English language and one of the other moderators might move part of this thread but it is linked to your original question. I am truly interested in how it works there. So I have a couple of follow-up questions:

1) Is the word "girl" used to all unmarried females, regardless of their age?
2) Is the word "girl" used for a married female who remains a virgin?
3) Would it be an insult to use the word "woman" to an unmarried female, because it might suggest that she is no longer a virgin even though she is not yet married?

emsr2d2：
1｝ Yeah. But she comes into thirties or forties, they will generally be considered as "old girl" .

2} No, it is not. A married female will be considered as "woman" even though she remains a virgin.


3} An insult? Hehe, yes, a little at least! I feel it's not proper and not good at least in China.
Because ... ...
Yes, an unmarried Chinese female will be exasperated or irritated if you call her "woman".
At least it is not polite that you use the word "woman" to an unmarried Chinese female I think.




To speak frankly, from the rigorous pint of view, Chinglish is not right English, and is not good English at least I think.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please note that I strongly recommend you don't address any females in the UK as "old girl" (or, in fact, anything with "old" in!) ;-)

 

[dodonaomik]

Please note that I strongly recommend you don't address any females in the UK as "old girl" (or, in fact, anything with "old" in!) ;-)

Oh, my gosh!
The difference between two cultures really shocks me.



Thank you for your kind advice and thank you for your kindness.

 

[5jj]

I'll just add a cultural note. I can't speak for how women think about this, but it would not cross the minds of most British men I know to even think about whether a woman they knew was a virgin or not.