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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Oct 2013
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Post would you please help me

    Greetings gentlemen,

    I am preparing a personal statement for some academic purposes and need some help .

    is there anything wrong with these sentences?

    the bold words are the ones im not feeling so right about

    1. In July 2013 I graduated with a bachelor degree and an accumulative average (AGPA: x/4) (x%), and that encouraged me to apply to the position you have at your organization.

    2. I hope I would be honored by joining one of the Effel program partner universities and share enhancing good quality of higher education internationally and locally when I come back to my homeland x.

    Effel is an organization/program name.

    thank you so much for your help.

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 24,983
    #2

    Re: would you please help me

    Quote Originally Posted by ElieRicci View Post
    Greetings gentlemen,

    I am preparing a personal statement for some academic purposes and need some help .

    Is there anything wrong with these sentences?

    The bold words are the ones I'm not feeling good about

    1. In July, 2013 I graduated with a bachelor's degree and an accumulative average (AGPA: x/4) (x%), and that encouraged me to apply to the position you have in your organization.

    2. I hope I would be honored by joining one of the Effel program partner universities and share enhancing good quality of higher education internationally and locally when I come back to my homelandx.

    Effel is an organization/program name.

    Thank you so much for your help.
    See my corrections above.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,498
    #3

    Re: would you please help me

    Welcome to the forums, ElieRicci.

    Please note that 'Greetings gentlemen' is an inappropriate salutation. There are teachers here of both sexes to help you.

    Actually, you don't need to use any salutation at all. Just go ahead and ask your question.

    Rover

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Oct 2013
    • Posts: 2
    #4

    Re: would you please help me

    Thank you so much.
    I will pay more attention to my writing.

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