Student or Learner
I am preparing a personal statement for some academic purposes and need some help .
is there anything wrong with these sentences?
the bold words are the ones im not feeling so right about
1. In July 2013 I graduated with a bachelor degree and an accumulative average (AGPA: x/4) (x%), and that encouraged me to apply to the position you have at your organization.
2. I hope I would be honored by joining one of the Effel program partner universities and share enhancing good quality of higher education internationally and locally when I come back to my homeland x.
Effel is an organization/program name.
thank you so much for your help.
Welcome to the forums, ElieRicci.
Please note that 'Greetings gentlemen' is an inappropriate salutation. There are teachers here of both sexes to help you.
Actually, you don't need to use any salutation at all. Just go ahead and ask your question.
Thank you so much.
I will pay more attention to my writing.