check the sentence structure

[sdpegasus]

Kindly check this sentence structure-

"After winning this competition you will register your name in the list of outstanding students of the school."


Is this structure grammatically correct? it would be very kind of you if you could suggest me a better structure.

 

[Raymott]

Kindly check this sentence structure-

"After winning this competition you will register your name in the list of outstanding students of the school."


Is this structure grammatically correct? it would be very kind of you if you could suggest me a better structure.

"After winning this competition your name will be registered in the list of outstanding students of the school."
I would use the passive voice. It's unlikely that the winner herself would register her name. The registrar of the list would do that.

 

[sdpegasus]

What about this-"................your name will be registered in the list of outstanding students."

Is this part of the sentence register in the list okay? I mean is it colloquial and natural ?

 

[Raymott]

What about this-"................your name will be registered in the list of outstanding students."

Is this part of the sentence register in the list okay? I mean is it colloquial and natural ?

I don't know. I thought your meaning was obvious, and just wanted help with the structure.
Education procedures are different all over the world. In my experience in Australia, we don't have "competitions" that determine outstanding students. There is usually an honour board which lists the outstanding student of the year. "Registration" might not be the term I'd use; it really depends on the local customs.
But your sentence makes sense; I wouldn't object to it. I'd probably be interested in what the competition was though; it's usually based on academic merit, either by exams or cumulatively.