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    #1

    Someone please review this small essay.

    The chart illustrates the amount of fitness membership of male and female between
    1970 and 2000,a period of 30 years. It is clearly seen that men dominated the amount
    of membership in the first half of the period, whereas women dominate in the second
    half.


    The number of male members start the period at just over two thousand and reached
    the highs of four thousand in 1975 and five thousand in 1995. the lowest rates were in
    1985 and in 2000 where the number declined to one thousand.


    the female membership began lower at one thousand and increased in1975 at two thousand.
    the rate reached the highs in 1985 and 1995 at just less three thousand.But it decreased again
    at two thousand in 2000.


    In brief, there were marked differences in rates of male and female fitness memberships in the
    period covered.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Someone please review this small essay.

    When will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Someone please review this small essay.

    Thanks for the answer.

    In fact I wrote this essay for myself. I have neither a teacher nor tuiture.So I am not going to summbit it.

    Thanks.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Someone please review this small essay.

    It looks like an IELTS chart test. (Is it?) We are allowed to comment on those, since they are self-motivated practices. But to do justice to any answer, I'd need to see the graph.
    What is the "amount of fitness membership"?

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    #5

    Re: Someone please review this small essay.

    thanks for your answer.

    here is the exercice IELTS Exam Preparation - Academic Writing Sample Task 1 #73

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Someone please review this small essay.

    Quote Originally Posted by yassin11 View Post
    Thanks for your answer.

    Here is the exercise. IELTS Exam Preparation - Academic Writing Sample Task 1 #73
    I can't open that link at the moment but please note my corrections to your thread above. Remember capitalisation and punctuation at all times, and the correct spelling of exercis​e.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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