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    #1

    How to make it good English?

    “If the U.S. government continues with its irresponsible dilatory approach over its debt disease, there will be a day when Uncle Sam busts his borrowing limit while the groaning U.S. economy drifting far beyond redemption,” said the not always perfectly fluent English-language commentary. “In fact, self-salvation lies within

    The quote is not perfectly fluent as it says. So how to make it perfectly fluent?

    Your help will be appreciated.

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    #2

    Re: How to make it good English?

    I would say "busts" sounds like a sour note and should be "bursts." Also maybe "drifting" should be "drifts." If it were my sentiment, I would drop the adjective "far" as overstating and hence weakening the point -- the same with the words "irresponsible" and "groaning."

    A remark about the use of "busts" here -- I like it as a way of strengthening the emotion and if the intent were ironic it would be perfect. To get respect though it fails.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
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      • China
      • Current Location:
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    • Posts: 184
    #3

    Re: How to make it good English?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Merton View Post
    I would say "busts" sounds like a sour note and should be "bursts." Also maybe "drifting" should be "drifts." If it were my sentiment, I would drop the adjective "far" as overstating and hence weakening the point -- the same with the words "irresponsible" and "groaning."

    A remark about the use of "busts" here -- I like it as a way of strengthening the emotion and if the intent were ironic it would be perfect. To get respect though it fails.
    I'm thinking the author used a lot of big words, and "drifting far beyond redemption" sounds so confused. I think "drifts away from" is better." I would say "remains reckless and dilatory over..." instead of "continues with its irresponsible dilatory approach over..."

    Maybe what I proposed is also not perfectly good English, but it at least sounds more concise.
    Last edited by michael147; 29-Nov-2013 at 10:05.

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