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  1. Newbie
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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: Dec 2013
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Need a review on my essay

    Hi,

    I wrote a short essay in order to improve my English but I don't have someone to check it.
    This is the essay:
    Last summer I have had a great vacation. I traveled with my family to Barcelona and it was my first time abroad. I had a lot of fun seeing another country. We stayed there for a short time - only a week. But we saw many things in that short time.
    The most noticeable thing there were the unique buildings and the hot weather. I think the buildings are the result of a famous architect and the culture.
    While we were there we watched a football game in a great stadium. We also have been in the museum of Picasso.
    overall, it was a great experience and I am very glad I have been there. I wish to see other places in the world in the future.
    I will be great-full for someone's help.
    Thank you!!!

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,822
    #2

    Re: Need a review on my essay

    Last summer I have had a great vacation.

    I traveled with my family to Barcelona and it was my first time abroad. I had a lot of fun seeing another country.
    I travelled/went to Barcelona with my family. It was my first time abroad and I really enjoyed visiting another/a foreign country.

    We stayed there for a short time (only a week) but we saw many things in that short time.
    The most noticeable notable things [there​] were the unique buildings and the hot weather. I think the buildings are the result of a famous architect and the culture.

    While we were there we watched a football game in a great stadium. We also have been in went to/visited the museum of Picasso. Is it actually called "The Museum of Picasso". I think it is probably "The Picasso Museum" when translated into English.

    Overall, it was a great experience and I am very glad I have been there. I wish to see other places in the world in the future.


    See above for my suggested corrections (in red).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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