Results 1 to 9 of 9
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2013
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?




    I believe through good education people may achieve their goals and I will be honored to have an impact in this process.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,504
    #2

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Welcome to the forums.

    Is this your own sentence? If so, what is your purpose in writing it?

  1. englishhobby's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Jun 2009
    • Posts: 1,681
    #3

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by royakhanoom View Post



    I believe through good education people may achieve their goals and I will be honored to have an impact (in) ON this process.
    I think it's overly formal. (Are you preparing your speech for a meeting with the Queen? )
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 24,983
    #4

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by englishhobby View Post
    I think it's overly formal. (Are you preparing your speech for a meeting with the Queen? )
    Why do you think it is "overly" formal when you have no context?

  3. englishhobby's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Jun 2009
    • Posts: 1,681
    #5

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    Why do you think it is "overly" formal when you have no context?
    Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

    Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

    Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,893
    #6

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by englishhobby View Post
    Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

    Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

    Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?
    I agree to a certain degree about "to be honoured" but I don't think we can class the word "impact" as formal.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. MikeNewYork's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 24,983
    #7

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by englishhobby View Post
    Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

    Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

    Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?
    The sentence could be part of a statement accepting some kind of appointment in the field of education. The circumstances may have called for formality to some degree.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,504
    #8

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    I agree. If the OP would reply to my post #2 we might be spared the necessity for any further guesswork.

  6. MikeNewYork's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 24,983
    #9

    Re: Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    I agree. If the OP would reply to my post #2 we might be spared the necessity for any further guesswork.
    I agree.

Similar Threads

  1. Could you help me improve this sentence?
    By hanky in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-May-2010, 11:24
  2. [General] Please help me to improve the sentence
    By Monali in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-Apr-2010, 12:00
  3. Please improve the sentence
    By Ily in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-Apr-2009, 16:32
  4. how can i improve this sentence
    By hemmin in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 24-May-2007, 14:35
  5. Please improve the sentence
    By NewHope in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-Sep-2004, 18:09

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •