[Essay] Writing task 1

[eagle111]

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.


It is my fist time to write an essay, could you please correct it for me ?





The table shows the percentage of electronic machines used by the British over about one decade from 1972 to 1983.

At a glance when we look at the table, one can notice that the highest household owned in Britain was Television from 93 percent in 1972 to almost 100 percent in 1983. The usage of vacuum cleaner and refrigerator increased steadily to above 90 percent by the end of the period. There was also a significant increase in the use of washing machine and telephone to 80 percent and 77 percent respectively by 1983.The usage of central heating climbed from 39 percent in 1972 to 64 percent in 1983. On the other hand, there were two relatively new machines used by the British, namely Video which had been used in 1983 by 18 percent, and the dishwasher used for the first time in 1978 by 3 percent to reach 5 percent in 1983.

 

[Gillnetter]

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.


It is my fist time to write an essay, could you please correct it for me ?





The table shows the percentage of electronic machines used by the British over about one decade from 1972 to 1983.

At a glance when we look at the table, one can notice that the highest household owned in Britain was Television from 93 percent in 1972 to almost 100 percent in 1983. The usage of vacuum cleaner and refrigerator increased steadily to above 90 percent by the end of the period. There was also a significant increase in the use of washing machine and telephone to 80 percent and 77 percent respectively by 1983.The usage of central heating climbed from 39 percent in 1972 to 64 percent in 1983. On the other hand, there were two relatively new machines used by the British, namely Video which had been used in 1983 by 18 percent, and the dishwasher used for the first time in 1978 by 3 percent to reach 5 percent in 1983.

If there were more than one of anything you should add an "s" - washing machines, not washing machine. There is no reason to capitalize "television". As a rule, we do not help on homework. If you have specific questions, feel free to ask them.

 

[eagle111]

Thank you for your reply, but actually it's not a homework, I study ielts alone and there is no tutor to correct my writing so I thoughtiI could post them here for corrections and feedback