Your letter has a number of mistakes. Rather than edit this text I would tell you that this type of letter is, in effect, a sales letter. Everything in this letter is about you. You never mention what good an advanced education will do for the school, or, for the world. What could you do to help humanity by receiving this education? I suggest that you rewrite this letter with a different perspective in mind.Hi, I'm applying for a place in a Master program in Europe, and this is my motivation letter. I gently ask you to check it and correct any grammatical or phrasal mistake. Thank you in advance
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing in order to express my interest in applying for a place at the master program X. My name is ___ and I am graduated as ____ at the University Y , in (country).
I have chosen this program because I am aware that the workforce is a very competitive place and In order to be successful I need to stand out . I think that program X is the right for me to accomplish my professional and personal goals, developing and enriching my skills, since it will give me the whole package that I need to achieve excellence career. The major aspects of georesources engineering taught in this program, characterisation, processing and modelling, are very interesting to me. In my previous studies I had the chance to learn these subjects and during the internship that I did, I was able work in a mining environment, specifically at the processing plant, what made me even more fascinated about this universe . Also during my academic period here in my country I could work on a project , during 1 year, with main focus on the flow in unsaturated sails, where I had a wider view of mining engineering. However I still want to improve my professional capabilities and this master program would provide me broaden and deepen academic knowledge supplementing those that I acquired in my under graduation.
After getting my undergraduate diploma I wanted to have a new experience in my life, therefore I decided to go to the USA. I lived there for X year and Y months, working and studying english. It was the best decision I have ever made for myself, it was a journey into self-awareness and new possibilities. But in my opinion this trip to USA, was only the first step that I took to my personal development , I want more and I always try to push myself into new challenges , i strongly believe that when I get out of my comfort zone I am able to improve my life in different aspects and I think that If I have the chance to participate in this program a whole new perspective of my life would come with it, personally, academically and professionally. I am willing to learn and take the most from this opportunity, enjoying each second that have there.
In addition this program would give me the opportunity of being in a cosmopolite environment with varied cultures, habits, ideas and opinions, what makes me very excited about, since I enjoy knowing different people, places and exchanging new experiences. Moreover with the mobility scheme I will get to know different countries in Europe hence this would be an excellent chance to learn another languages besides english, such as German, French and Swedish. I know that the english language is universal but it is much more pleasing and fun talk to people from other parts of the globe in their own language. I am confident that this experience would be unique and valuable for the rest of my life
Thank you in advance for considering my request, I very much hope to be nominated for a place in this program
Student or Learner