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    IELTS Task 2: Please advise me: problem's in my essay:- structure?? bands=??

    Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

    There is no doubt that, sometimes, punishment merely means that novel criminal will stop crime. There are various anti-social and unprofessionalism reasons behind this. In this essay, I will contend these reasons more thoroughly and unveil suggestions to at least lower this issue.

    The foremost cause is bad company that increases the chances of further crime. When after first crime, a criminal go to jail, he meets to his inmates. This is very obvious that bunch of bad people cannot give unbiased direction to their new comer. For instance, in India, Prasad Kong, who unintentionally hit a woman, went to jail where he met to other criminals. When he set free, he kidnapped son of rich man and demanded ransom, this was his intentional act. Here, this has just sent an example that punishment is not always an effective solution to stop the fence in the society.

    Secondly, most importantly, most of the people who go to jail do not have any professional skills. Behind the bars, they just find the ways to how to survive in the outside world. To worsen the situation, right after jail life, they are entitled with ‘criminal record’ entry to their resume. Today, usually no business appreciates to hire those who are offensive in any ways.

    However, training programs behind the walls and society attitude can work affectively to convert those people to real human. Firstly, while in the jail, the offenders should be given some skilled training so that when they will go out in the society, they would work to service and serve their family. For instance, the skill like car maintenance, plumber and perfect electrician can help them to at least open their own business even if they do not get other work. Secondly, society should be given knowledge that ‘criminal record’ does not mean that the criminal cannot be trusted. At least, he should be given another chance to indulge himself for the betterment of the society. For instance, in North America, bad Santa’s was a new initiative by TV program where all Santa’s had criminal record and the host was trying to find job for them. Unfortunately, only 1 out of ten got work. SO the question is what others will do? Hence society attitude and skill in hand are two necessary steps that could at least lower the crime.

    To conclude, criminal are not born, there are still many ways to get them on right track. Having right talent and better socialism can help them to become good citizens.
    Last edited by pip depp; 06-Jan-2014 at 05:23.

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