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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bengali; Bangla
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Jan 2014
    • Posts: 4

    please correct my English in this letter

    Hi all I love a girl I have written a letter to her just let me know how is it .. You are free to edit it and make it perfect..
    Dear .....
    I have composed several mails last few days....but never sent you... Each of the mails represents my thoughts ... They say the greatest slavery is the slavery of thoughts... Hence I decided let not my thoughts be slave of my will so I am sending this email a representation of my thoughts....
    Name you are out of my sight but not out my rule my thoughts bcoz of Your innocent feminine personality ,your childish characteristics..yes I have felt your childish behavior through your magnificent eyes ,they speak to me and your shy smile which makes time stand still and the cute thing you do with your open hair...I love your curly black hair ...The best thing that makes you perfect is your simplicity... You are unique ...
    Last six month was the most beautiful period of my life... Each morning I would wait for you... I never knew I would ever meet someone so special someone whose mere presence would make me so made me to feel the real meaning of life.. As a student I was busy with my studies and my sport activities (volleyball) entered into professional life busy in building carrier showed me there exist other part of life where one doesn't live for oneself but for the other half .... You gave a new meaning to my life a new purpose to live... Thank you dear for it...
    The last I saw you was on 30th December Monday... you were busy in texting,the bus came and stopped at your stop but you didn't board it... I never knew that its the last time I am seeing you....and now when I miss you each and every morning I remember those beautiful moments when I made eye contacts with you...
    I know you are aware of my thoughts and my desire to be your special friend... But you seem to be silent on it....and I wanted to make you comfortable as I am in no hurry to make a place in your heart...I want to earn you ... I have many fancy friends to make my weekend blasting...but friendship with you should be beyond that level.... I want to wait till the point you feel I am worth such friendship... You are worth waiting ... You are precious ... I miss you and your beautiful angel eyes...

    Love thee Angel eyes ..You are mine...

    Bye take care and be safe much love to you ... Keep me in your thoughts

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 43,816

    Re: please correct my English in this letter

    The first thing you should do is reduce the excessive number of ellipses (...). We simply don't use it that often. At the end of a sentence, one full stop is sufficient.

    Also, calling someone "childish" is mildly insulting.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,269

    Re: please correct my English in this letter

    And change "open hair" to something else.

    I'm sure however it reads, they lady will be happy to receive it. Love letters are not judged on their grammar.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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