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  1. englishhobby's Avatar
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    #1

    Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    Here's a microdialogue I made for elementary students. I should only use the letters and sounds the students have learned so far (whether this method is effective or not is to be discussed, but not just now). The letters and sounds which are "allowed" to be used in the dialogue at this step are the ones which are already there. Could you please check this dialogue and correct it's "communicative" part to make it sound more natural. I know grammar is OK, but is the dialogue as a whole natural? I don't very much like "It's bad" in this context, but I can't think of some other phrase with these particular sounds and letters (e.g. I can't write "It's bad for your health", because it has some "extra" sounds ([ɔ:] and [θ]) which I don't need to use yet). Could you change it a little for it to be more natural with the same sounds and letters? Any ideas are welcome (it would be also great if someone wrote a similar dialogue with the same sounds and letters about some other food)!
    PS The structure "let sb do sth" should be in the dialogue.

    B: Let me have a sweet.
    M: Yes, Benny, take a sweet, please.
    B: Can I take five sweets?
    M: Five sweets? It’s bad, Benny. Take an apple instead.
    Last edited by englishhobby; 23-Jan-2014 at 09:26.
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    "It's bad" is not natural. but I can't think of anything within the limitations except "Greedy Benny!"

    In this contextx, the "please" at the end of the second line does not seem natural to me.
    Last edited by 5jj; 23-Jan-2014 at 12:24. Reason: typo

  3. englishhobby's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    "It's bad" is not natural. but I can't think of anything within the limitations except "Greedy Benny!"
    Thank you for the correction of "please". "Greedy Benny" would be great, but I can't use [r] (((
    Will "Silly Benny!" or "It's silly, Benny!" work? Or "Kids need vitamins!"?
    Last edited by englishhobby; 23-Jan-2014 at 11:30.
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  4. englishhobby's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    What about this variant?

    B: Let me have a sweet.

    M: Yes, Benny, take a sweet.
    B: Can I take five sweets?
    M: Five sweets? Why, Benny, it's silly! Kids need vitamins. Take an apple instead.
    Last edited by englishhobby; 23-Jan-2014 at 12:30.
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  5. 5jj's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    That's probably as good as you'll get without using forbidden sounds.

    I still don't like the 'please'. It sounds to me like a translation of a word you may use in your own language when offering something or as an automatic response to 'thank you'.

    The words 'Take a sweet, please' are not incorrect, in the context of an offer, but M is not really offering a sweet in your dialogue.

  6. englishhobby's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    That's probably as good as you'll get without using forbidden sounds.

    I still don't like the 'please'.
    I am awfully sorry, 5jj. Of course I decided at once to delete "please", but concentrated too much on the last lines and forgot about it. (In my language it's also awkward, so I deleted it in my previous post.) Now if you see such a dialogue in a textbook, will you notice at once that a non-native speaker wrote it?
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

  7. 5jj's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Microdialogue - Is anything wrong with it?

    If it's in a book for young children, it's fine.

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