Student or Learner
I've found the following passage:
I think about age the way younger people think about love. I haven't stopped thinking about love, but its mysteries no longer annoy me. I know a lot about love at my certain age. But age is still a mystery, so I think about it. I watch for its visible signs. Those are horrible in their gradualness and irreversibility, and I work hard at slowing their progress. I imagine a contest between my efforts and age's invasions. I know, of course, who the winner will be; the thrill of the contest is seeing how long I can delay its victory. The signs ...
The bold-faced and colored sentence above really annoys me.
Especially, what does the word "seeing" mean in this case?
Thank you very much in advance for your help on this.