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    #1

    trying to fix this sentence

    I have this sentence i am trying to fix. I am trying to learn grammar and its hard. Can you see if i did this correctly?

    "Partly this difference between the generations is a matter of age young people are usually less contented with their lot more eager for change and more intolerant of the constraints of routine. (adapted from Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 146)"


    This is how i fixed it.

    Partly, this difference between the generations is a matter of age. Young people, are usually less contented with their lot; more eager for change and more intolerant of the constraints of routine. (Adapted from Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 146)

    Somehow that doesnt seem right.

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: trying to fix this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by icelated View Post
    I have this sentence i am trying to fix. I am trying to learn grammar and its hard. Can you see if i did this correctly?

    "Partly this difference between the generations is a matter of age young people are usually less contented with their lot more eager for change and more intolerant of the constraints of routine. (adapted from Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 146)"


    This is how i fixed it.

    Partly, this difference between the generations is a matter of age. Young people, are usually less contented with their lot; more eager for change and more intolerant of the constraints of routine. (Adapted from Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 146)

    Somehow that doesnt seem right.
    It is better than the original. Delete the comma after "people". We don't separate a subject from its verb. I would change the semicolon to a comma and add a comma after "change".

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: trying to fix this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by icelated View Post
    Partly, this difference between the generations is a matter of age. Young people are usually less contented with their lot, more eager for change, and more intolerant of the constraints of routine. (Adapted from Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 146)
    A comma between the subject and verb is never correct (unless it's one of a pair - "A comma, that little curly symbol, between the subject and verb is never correct").
    Note that the comma after 'change' (the 'serial/Harvard/Oxford comma') is not mandatory, but I always use it.
    Serial comma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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