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    #1

    Another sentence with runon?

    I am looking at this sentence, and i cant seem to fix it.

    "Unlike colonization forced by cultural imperialism the hyper-realization of the external/internal relationship that Disneyland so cleverly actualized is embedded in commercial artifacts spaces and performative relationships and it spreads in Japan as well as to other Asian countries. (adapted from Yoshimi, 2001, p. 180)"

    How i think it should go is.

    Unlike colonization, forced by cultural imperialism, the hyper-realization of the external/internal relationship that Disneyland so cleverly actualized is embedded in commercial artifacts spaces, and performative relationships, and it spreads in Japan as well as to other Asian countries. (adapted from Yoshimi, 2001, p. 180)

    but that seems like its a runon?

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Another sentence with runon?

    If this is homework, we can't help you here.
    This passage needs far more than a few cosmetic commas. It needs to be completely re-written in normal English, dispensing with all the academic postmodern crap. (Pardon the French.) You could start with changing 'forced'. Cultural imperialism doesn't 'force' colonization; colonization is an intrinsic aspect of imperialism.

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    #3

    Re: Another sentence with runon?

    ...and you must always capitalise 'I'.

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