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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Smile Can someone please look at my essay

    Coping Escape
    How do you escape your problems in life? The Grape family lived in a small town named Endora. Something tragic happened to their father, he had taken his life away. Everybody needed a way to cope with it the mom ate, Amy cooked, Ellen put make-up on, Arnie climbed stuff, and Gilbert had his truck. Arnie had a mental disorder, and everyone had to take care of him. Amy cooked for him, Ellen babysat, and Gilbert was the authority. The mom was not physically able to do anything, so she was the loving one. Gilbert meets a girl named Becky she teaches him how to care about himself and his dreams. Their mom finally wants to change her life around for the better, but she passes away. Everybody finds their way of what they want to do with their lives. Thereís a little family in an urban area, which has just brought another member of the family into the world. Something was wrong with him when he was born. He was born with amniotic sac still around him. The family thought he would die, but he didnít he just had a few disabilities. Doodle lived and he was fine just facing a few challenges. Once he got out of the house, he learned to talk, and crawl. The older brother would take him to Old Woman Swamp to make flower bands and to canoe. Doodle was getting to the point where he needed to learn how to walk and run before the school year started. The older brother taught him how to walk. They surprised their family on Doodleís birthday with his ability to walk. Everyone was amazed by this big achievement. One day Doodle sees a rare bird from the south. It was brought up from a hurricane, and had died from the environment. This moment had left an imprint on Doodle. They go back every day to the swamp and practice some more and go on canoe rides together. Rain and winds starts to come in and Doodle and his older brother rush to go home and get out of the storm. But while they were running Doodle had fallen and needed his brotherís help. The older brother had left him and kept running. Later he went back to see if he could find Doodle, but when he found Doodle, he had died. The older brother now realized he missed his brother and wanted him back. People coping with problems tend to find things that comfort them and escape their problematic lives to another world.
    A boy named Arnie has a mental disability and his father passed away. His way of coping with life is he climbs things. He climbs on trees roofs and the water tower in town. When Arnie was climbing the water tower he was hurting himself. Every time he would climb the tower he would get in trouble with the law. Arnieís coping escape was dangerous, but it kept him from going crazy. Climbing was Arnieís escape that gave him some time to relax and feel safe.
    Doodle is a boy who has disabilities from his birth. His family didnít think he would survive. He was a slow learner and had to learn a lot. The older brother helps him to cope with his problems by bringing him to Old Woman Swamp. Doodle finds it as a place to overcome obstacles in his life and prove people wrong. Going to Old Woman Swamp was Doodleís place to fight for what he wanted to do and prove his self-worth.
    Both boys had ways to cope from climbing to calling a place their own. Arnie and Doodle both had challenges health wise and family wise. Everybody needs something to cope with from their everyday lives.


    Thanks for the help I really appreciate it.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Can someone please look at my essay

    Welcome to the forum.

    When will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Can someone please look at my essay

    What a great imagination you've got. That was an interesting story with nice plot. I loved the way you put everything in simple and easily readable sentences. Also, it's great you use that many action verbs, as this makes your writing much stronger. The only advice I'd give you to improve this essay is to reconsider its logical structure. The standard 5 paragraph structure and a strong thesis statement in the end of the first paragraph could make your writing much stronger. Here's a resource http://studyboom.net/wiki/Essay which gives simple tips and step-by-step instructions on how to structure your essays.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Can someone please look at my essay

    Giapet doesn't have a great imagination. What he has posted is a precis of the storyline of the film "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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