Can you correct my IELTS Writing Task 1 and what band I am?

It is believed that overpopulation is putting such a strain on the world's natural resources that depleted supplies could lead to international wars in the future.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In this modern world, overpopulation is asserted to be the cause of decreasing world's natural resources as well as failure to maintain the world peace. Overpopulation might brought many benefits yet it can be argued that the negative drawbacks outweigh the positive one in the future.

To begin, overpopulation is a blessing in disguise because there are many young people that can contribute their fresh and brilliant ideas besides energy to the country. Their contributions might help the thriving country to develop. If their body and mind's strength are fully utilised, it is inevitably sure that poverty issue is able to curb as the country's economy grew rapidly.

Nevertheless, the effects of overpopulation have not all been beneficial. Natural resources supplied people with variety form of energy especially chemical and electrical energy for daily life. If overpopulation occurs, there will be shortage of supply because the diminished natural resources are not enough to support the gigantic amount of people.

The phenomenon consequently lead to international wars in the future as they desperate to obtain enough supply. As saying goes, ' A drowning man will clutch at a straw', people would do anything in desperate situation to survive. They are willing to embroil and declare war with another country. Therefore, they have the chance to get full rights on their opponent's natural resources if they win. The inferno of war likely to be the most unspeakable nightmare as people dropping like flies and peace among countries cannot be maintained.

To sum up, overpopulation might gave many advantages yet I believed the negative impacts cannot be counterbalanced by its benefits in the future. Overpopulation needs to be addressed to people so that wise steps can be taken before its too late.