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  1. Newbie
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      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
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    Talking Could you help me to fix this little English essay?(183 words)?

    Could you please help me to fix this little English essay? it could grammar mistakes, some unsuitable words or phrase, I am learning English and practising writing like a native English writer. thank you.
    Healthy beginning from heart

    In recent years, with the lifeís level developing in our country, people are easy to fall ill, such as hypertension, fat and heart disease, caused by bad habits (i.e. smoking, sedentary lifestyle). Many young adults often die suddenly which are resulted from heart related diseases in current society, so The heart and blood vessels disease is longer only belong to available for the aged and young adults should keep eyes on it.

    Nowadays, the elite are busy making money, have a stressful lifestyle and forget to take care their body. They always believe their bodies are strong enough which cannot be ill. Once be illness onset, it could be serious disease that hard to cure. All these diseases are contributed by unhealthy lifestyle which eliminates our health in a imperceptible way. So dangerous.

    Lack of vegetables, less exercise and smoking are risk factors in these diseases. To prevent these diseases, such as hypertension, fat and heart disease. you must take more exercise, keep from smoking and have a regular diet. Itís an only effective way to prevent heart disease.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
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    Re: Could you help me to fix this little English essay?(183 words)?

    Welcome to the forum.

    The title is not grammatically correct. I wonder if you mean something like "Good health starts with the heart".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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