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    #1

    Post would any one correct my essay ?????

    this essay is for TOEFL IBT plz help me .. and what score should i get
    some people show their emotions, while other people work hard to keep their emotions from showing. What are the advantages of each type of behavior? which do you try to do?

    There are many situations we face in our daily life. People reactions for these situations differ from one to another, some show many emotions while others keep their emotions for themselves. For me, I would say I'm the kind of person that shows her feelings most of the time. However, I think each of the two behaviors have their own advantages.
    First to talk about are the advantages of the showing emotions behavior, I think the person who show his/her feelings is very honest person ;therefore, lying would be very hard thing to do and this is the most important advantage I think. Another one is that people who always show their emotions feel very relaxed all the time and they have nothing to worry about. For instance, when I'm angry with my boyfriend, I talk about the problem with him and tell him what I really feel then we solve it easily and I will have nothing to think about later.
    Although there are advantages of showing emotions, sometimes keeping them is necessary and has many benefits. I think people who keep their feeling are strong and this way will help them to get through bad things happened. For example, the situation of losing a friend or getting divorced, if you keep crying or telling everyone that you are sad, you will finally be a miserable person and you are never going to forget about it, then all you have to do is keeping your emotions from showing and act like nothing is happened.
    As a result, I can say that life full of bad and good things and we should know how to deal with every situation. Sometimes it is important to show our emotions and other times is not.
    Last edited by shamsmayaleh; 24-Feb-2014 at 16:16.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    The first thing you should do is click "Edit Post" and fix the spacing around the punctuation.

    - Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.

    Check your singular/plural agreements. For example, you have written "There is advantages​ ...".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    The first thing you should do is click "Edit Post" and fix the spacing around the punctuation.

    - Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.

    Check your singular/plural agreements. For example, you have written "There is advantages​ ...".
    thank you i guess i corrected them

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    #4

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    after I,ve corrected it could plz evaluate it again

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by shamsmayaleh View Post
    Thank you. I guess think I have corrected them.
    Quote Originally Posted by shamsmayaleh View Post
    After I've corrected it, could you plz please evaluate it again?
    Please look at the corrections I have made to your post in red. Always follow the rules of written English:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with a single, appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".

    Remember to use full, standard English words. "plz" is not a word - it's "please".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #6

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    Thanks again, but what about the essay?

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: would any one correct my essay ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by shamsmayaleh View Post
    this essay is for TOEFL IBT plz help me .. and what score should i get
    some people show their emotions, while other people work hard to keep their emotions from showing. What are the advantages of each type of behavior? which do you try to do?

    There are many situations We face many situations in our daily life. People Reactions for to these situations differ from one person to another - some show many emotions while others keep their emotions for to themselves. For me, I would say I'm the kind of person that who shows her feelings most of the time. However, I think each of the two behaviors have their own individual advantages.

    First I would like to talk about are the advantages of the showing one's emotions behavior. I think the person who shows his/her feelings is a very honest person. Therefore, lying would be a very hard thing to do and I think this is the most important advantage. I think. Another one is that people who always show their emotions feel very relaxed all the time and they have nothing to worry about. For instance, when I'm angry with my boyfriend, I talk about the problem with him and tell him what I really feel. That way, then we solve it easily and I will have nothing to think about later.

    Although there are advantages of to showing emotions, sometimes keeping them in is necessary and has many benefits. I think people who keep their feelings in are strong and this way will helps them to get through bad things happened which happen. For example, in the situation of losing a friend or getting divorced, if you keep crying or telling everyone that you are sad, you will finally end up being a miserable person and you are will never going to forget about it. then So all you have to do is keeping your emotions from showing and act like nothing is has happened.

    As a result, I can say that life is full of bad and good things and we should know how to deal with every situation. Sometimes it is important to show our emotions and at other times is not.
    Please see my suggested amendments in red above. I'm afraid I can't give you an idea of your score - I have never dealt with TOEFL IBT.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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