[Essay] plz correct my essay for toefl what score should i get

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shamsmayaleh

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Joined
Feb 24, 2014
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Arabic
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Syria
Current Location
Lebanon
Every child around the world has the right to learn. To be well educated is the best way to build a great personality that is respectable in the society.
There are many ways to educate children, whether at home or in school. Both of these ways are good ways if one of them reaches the goal of getting the best education for the children.
In my opinion, going to school is the best way to learn. However, we can't ignore the advantages of both ways which I will discuss in my essay.
The first to discuss are the benefits of home learning. I think the idea for this way is to keep the child attention on one subject more than another. For example, I have a cousin who is very good at math, but he always fails with grammer. So, his mother decided to keep him home and bring him a teacher to improve him in that subject.
Another advantage to be educated at home is the distraction and wasting of time issue. Some kids spend their time at school just having fun without paying attention to the teacher. Thus, these kind of students should learn at home in order to not waste time; so, they will finish their duties then go to play or whatever thay want to do.
On the other hand, I would like to discuss the advantages of going to school which are so many, so I will mention a few of them. The first benefit is the communication and interaction between children at school is a big advantage and should be taken into consideration, because children needs to meet other kids and play with them. And that thing will not be available at home where there is only studying. For this, children will have fun and get new information at the same time.
Moreover, children could learn things from their teachers at school, parents at home may not realize them. Such as learning physics, when it's learnt at school where there are labs and material then the informations will be delivered to the students right and clear. These material will be existed at home for sure.
As a result from this discussion, I can get to the result that the school learning is the best way to educate children, besides insure that they get the effective knowledge they need.
 

shamsmayaleh

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2014
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Syria
Current Location
Lebanon
Is there any one who can evaluate the essay for me?
Thank you
 
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