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  1. b.a.d.'s Avatar
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    #1

    please, check my quiote

    Hi! Please check my quote (or a kind of epigram) for making sense. What you see here is an attept to make a wordplay.

    I did my best, yet not enough, I guess I've missed my vital shot
    And now my happiness depends on shots of poison in my blood

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: please, check my quiote

    Quote Originally Posted by b.a.d. View Post
    Hi! Please check my quote (or a kind of epigram) for making sense. What you see here is an attempt to make a wordplay.

    I did my best, yet not enough, I guess I've missed my vital shot
    And now my happiness depends on shots of poison in my blood
    I actually really like this. For a non-native speaker, it's very impressive. It rhymes. It scans. I don't know for sure what "my vital shot" refers to but it strikes me that your wordplay has been very effective.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. b.a.d.'s Avatar
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      • Russian Federation
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    #3

    Re: please, check my quiote

    Well, thanks. By "vital shot" I mean "opportunity of a lifetime". That's were I wasn't sure about the wordplay, but now I guess it's ok. Thank you)

  4. 5jj's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: please, check my quiote

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    It rhymes.
    It doesn't in my variety of English.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: please, check my quiote

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    It doesn't in my variety of English.
    I can't even pretend to know what I meant when I wrote that. It doesn't rhyme at all! Perhaps I was thinking of the rhythm, but I covered that by saying "It scans". What can I say? I'm a twonk.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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