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    #1

    Question is this sentence grammatically correct in english?

    Dear All
    I hope to know if this sentence is grammatically correct in english:

    "Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigates or A. flavus), and compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate their role within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

    Regards

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2
    I think this would be better as two sentences. The two verbs separated by "and" are not parallel.

    "Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). We then compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

    Note the change in spelling of "fumigatus". I changed "their role" because, as it was written, "their" referred to immunocompetent mice. I do not understand the use of the word "respective". Unless it is needed, I would delete "the respective".

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #3
    I think the second half may well be intended as a second part of the aim. If so, then the '... and compared ..' should read '... and to compare ...'

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4
    That is possible. Perhaps the OP will tell us.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5
    Note that a better title for this thread would have been "Therefore, the aim of our study". A thread title should include some or all of the words being queried.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    I think this would be better as two sentences. The two verbs separated by "and" are not parallel.

    "Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). We then compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

    Note the change in spelling of "fumigatus". I changed "their role" because, as it was written, "their" referred to immunocompetent mice. I do not understand the use of the word "respective". Unless it is needed, I would delete "the respective".
    Thank you very much for your helpful comments and corrections.

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    I think the second half may well be intended as a second part of the aim. If so, then the '... and compared ..' should read '... and to compare ...'
    Thank you very much for your useful information.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8
    Please note that there is no need to write any new posts to say "Thank you". Simply click the Thank button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #9
    What is your opinion about this?

    Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern
    of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). And to compare the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 13-Mar-2014 at 23:45. Reason: Reduced unnecessary font size and bold first line

  6. 5jj's Avatar
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    #10
    The 'Thank' facility also cuts out the need for long quotation of posts.

    By the way, which of our two ideas was closer to your intended meaning?

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