[Grammar] which one is correct?? "as the main portal of entry"

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Dear All
PLEASE
Which one is more correct??

1. Aspergillus can invade the lungs of immunocompromised individuals, as the main portal of entry, causing a life-threatening opportunisticinfection called invasive pulmonary aspergillosis (IPA).

2. Aspergillus can invade the lungs, as the main portal of entry, of immunocompromised individualscausing a life-threatening opportunistic infection called invasive pulmonary aspergillosis (IPA).

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5jj

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I prefer:

The lungs of immunocompromised individuals are the main portal of entry for Aspergilli, which cause a life-threatening opportunistic infection called invasive pulmonary aspergillosis (IPA).
 
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SoothingDave

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"Route of entry" is what they call it when talking about hazardous substances. I don't know if that is a more general medical term, but it is what I would call it.
 

5jj

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'Route of entry' sounds better to me. Knowing nothing about the topic, I tried merely to tidy up the structure.
 
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I prefer:

The lungs of immunocompromised individual are the main portal of entry for Aspergilli, which cause a life-threatening opportunistic infection called invasive pulmonary aspergillosis (IPA).

unfortunately, the lung of all individual are the main route so i can't say "The lungs of immunocompromised individual are the main portal of entry........"
 
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"Route of entry" is what they call it when talking about hazardous substances. I don't know if that is a more general medical term, but it is what I would call it.
I have found this term in many articles related to fungal infections.
 

5jj

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unfortunately, the lung of all individual are the main route so i can't say "The lungs of immunocompromised individual are the main portal of entry........"
The lungs are the main portal of entry for Aspergilli, which, in immunocompromised individuals, cause a life-threatening opportunistic infection called invasive pulmonary aspergillosis (IPA).
 

MikeNewYork

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5jj, I like your new sentence the best. One comment, however. Even though "Aspergilli" is the correct plural of "Aspergillus", it is more common to use the genus name "Aspergillus" than the plural form. I would change Aspergilli to Aspergillus" and then "cause" to "causes".
 
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What about that?

The lungs are the main portal of entry forAspergillus spp., which, in immunocompromised individuals, causes alife-threatening opportunistic infection called invasive pulmonaryaspergillosis (IPA)
 

MikeNewYork

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That would be OK, but I really don't think the "spp." is needed. And, since that is the abbreviation for plural species, many would want to use a plural verb with it.
 
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