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    #1

    Motivation statement for the UN

    Post deleted, as quoted in full in post #2
    Last edited by 5jj; 15-Mar-2014 at 08:20. Reason: unnecssary

    • Member Info
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    #2

    First time using the site...

    İ am seeking opinions corrections, any suggestions that may be helpfull. Thank you!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Alicedela View Post
    İ can definetly say that i had a very fortunate childhood. Growing up in Turkey, going to a french school, having a very select group of friends, basically living in a bubble that was protecting me from the outside world. Today, my life is not so different. İ live and work in Nyc, where small things can quickly become big problems, if not seen from the right perspective.
    İ was lucky enough to learn couple different languages from young age, to travel and also to live in different countries. There is nothing i love more than travelling, meeting new people and submerging myself in a different culture. İ believe it's a very special expericence that expands your vision of the world.
    Turning 27 years old in a week, i come to realize that i do not want to lead the life i am leading today. İ have no desire to work for a billion dollar corporation to help them make more billions. İ would like to be a part of something different, something that matters.
    İ have had many volunteering experiences; from tutoring immigrant kids to helping seniors, from spending time with homeless people to visiting addicts on holidays. Each of these gave me a fullfilement no other job did.
    İ would love to take this passion to the next level and start doing it profesionally.
    İ have no doubt that being a unv wont be easy. Many obstacles will have to be surpassed but i am up for the challenge.
    İ believe my multicultural past, my education and my passion for volunteering will make me a great asset for the united nation's volunteers. This position will allow me to become the person i want to be in life and work for a cause i care deeply. İt will help me surpass everyday problems and focus on what really matters. İ would be honored to be a part of an organisation like the united nations.
    After all like Dalai Lama once said " it is not enough to be compassionate, we must act".



    thank you for all your help in advance!!

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Alicedela View Post
    İ [A dotted capital I is interesting, and a refreshing change from the plain lower case 'i' (as far as errors go), but it's not English] can definetly say that i had a very fortunate childhood. Growing up in Turkey, going to a french school, having a very select group of friends, basically living in a bubble that was protecting me from the outside world. [<- Not a sentence] Today, my life is not so different. İ live and work in NYC, where small things can quickly become big problems, if not seen from the right perspective.
    İ was lucky enough to learn a couple of different languages from a young age, to travel and also to live in different countries. There is nothing i love more than travelling, meeting new people and submerging myself in a different culture. İ believe it's a very special expericence that expands your vision of the world.
    Turning 27 years old in a week, i [All these need capitalisation, with a non-dotted English capital 'I'] come to realize that i do not want to lead the life i am leading today. İ have no desire to work for a billion dollar corporation to help them make more billions. İ would like to be a part of something different, something that matters.
    İ have had many volunteering experiences; from tutoring immigrant kids [children - 'kids' is too informal for this essay] to helping seniors, from spending time with homeless people to visiting addicts on holidays. Each of these gave me a fullfilement no other job did.
    İ would love to take this passion to the next level and start doing it profesionally.
    İ have no doubt that being a unv [A what? It seems to need capitalisation, whatever it means]wont be easy. Many obstacles will have to be surpassed but i am up for to the challenge.
    İ believe my multicultural past, my education and my passion for volunteering will make me a great asset for the united nation's volunteers [capitalise? - at least UN]. This position will allow me to become the person i want to be in life and work for a cause i care deeply about. İt will help me surpass overcome everyday problems and focus on what really matters. İ would be honored to be a part of an organisation like the united nations.
    After all, like as the Dalai Lama once said "It is not enough to be compassionate, we must act".
    You can fix the red bits yourself. It's a pretty good essay overall.

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