[Grammar] Someone please help me with my introduction

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Bono09

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Good day everyone! :)

Can someone please find the errors in my introduction? Or which of the sentences need improvement? Thank you so much :)

Life is like a highway, a long and vast road. It's a never-ending route, a place where meeting new people is inevitable. It's a place where we'll encounter obstacles and obstructions as we pass through it. Life is a breathtaking journey. It's a tough road that awaits you, full of mystery and surprises and you'll never see it coming. One has to be fearless, brave enough to strive and fight for his/her life.

The question is, would you fight alone?


In this life-long road trip, would you travel alone?



Through Cassidy's journey, she has always been driving alone, facing all the challenges by herself. Being deceived by love before, she's too afraid to let anyone handle her wheel. Thereupon, she closed the door and built her defenses up so no one could ever enter her heart again.
What if one day, she meets the right guy who will join her in her road trip in life?
Is she willing to take a chance?
Will she finally handover the keys and let him take the wheel?
Is she set forth to be the passenger?
 
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emsr2d2

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

I'd say "Having been deceived by love before, ..."
 

Bono09

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

I'd say "Having been deceived by love before, ..."
thank you so much! :)
 

tzfujimino

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

Thank you so much! :)

Hello, Bono09.:-D
2.) is possible, but 1.) doesn't work, in my opinion.

I quote from one of Rover_KE's posts:

"Your appreciation is welcome but there is no need to write a new post to say Thank you. Simply click the Thank button on any posts you find helpful. It means that we don't have to open the thread again to read your new post and then find that it doesn't include any new information or an additional question.
It saves everybody's time."

:-D
 

Bono09

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

thank you! :)
 

tzfujimino

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

Hello, again.:-D

Bono, you should start a new thread if you have another question.
Please don't edit your original post to make a new one. (emsr2d2's response and mine don't make any sense at all now.)
Thank you.
 

Bono09

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

Hello, again.:-D

Bono, you should start a new thread if you have another question.
Please don't edit your original post to make a new one. (emsr2d2's response and mine don't make any sense at all now.)
Thank you.

I'm really sorry. :(
I'm new here. :)
 
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tzfujimino

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Re: Can someone please help me with the word "being"

That's OK.:-D
However, I'd like to ask you to do something:
Please remember to use correct capitalization and punctuation.

Would you edit your posts, please?
 

Bono09

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Please help me with my introduction :)

Good day everyone! :)

Can someone please find the errors in my introduction? Or which of the sentences need improvement? Thank you so much :)

Life is like a highway, a long and vast road. It's a never-ending route, a place where meeting new people is inevitable. It's a place where we'll encounter obstacles and obstructions as we pass through it. Life is a breathtaking journey. It's a tough road that awaits you, full of mystery and surprises and you'll never see it coming. One has to be fearless, brave enough to strive and fight for his/her life.

The question is, would you fight alone?


In this life-long road trip, would you travel alone?



Through Cassidy's journey, she has always been driving alone, facing all the challenges by herself. Having been deceived by love before, she's too afraid to let anyone handle her wheel. Thereupon, she closed the door and built her defenses up so no one could ever enter her heart again.
What if one day, she meets the right guy who will join her in her road trip in life?
Is she willing to take a chance?
Will she finally handover the keys and let him take the wheel?
Is she set forth to be the passenger?
 

bhaisahab

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Re: Please help me with my introduction :)

Is this homework, Bono09?
 

Bono09

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Re: Please help me with my introduction :)

Is this homework, Bono09?
Hi there. :)
It's actually our final project in my English class. We're assigned to make a book. The paragraph above is my introduction but I'm skeptic about my grammar so I came here to seek for help. :)
 

Barb_D

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Re: Please help me with my introduction :)

Hi Bono,
Welcome to Using English.

First, please do NOT start a second thread with the same question. It really angers us when someone spends time on a question and then sees the same question already has an answer in another thread.

Second, I'm afraid we can't help you if this is homework. Your teacher needs to see your work, not ours.

However, if you get comments back from your teacher and you don't understand them, please ask about them here.
 
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