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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Mar 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Please help me to correct the grammar mistakes! I'm so hurried. Thanks!

    Introduction of my friend
    Morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, Iíll introduce a friend of mine to you.
    At the first sight of him, I thought heís so funny. And at the first hearing of his name, I imagine Mini Burger of KFC. (You know, the cheapest hamburger of KFC.) He shares some common features with Mini Burger. So can you guess who he is? Yes, heís Sam of our class.
    From the appearance, heís not tall and fat. So heís a mini boy.
    Much like the meat pie of Mini Burger is pressed from both sides of the bread, so does Sam. Heís introverted and shy . Seldom does he speak to other people especially girls in an alien environment. He has a strong sense of self protection as well. Heíll not risk going to the dangerous place or playing with unfamiliar people as he knows heís necessary to his family, teachers and surrounding friends. Heís full of responsibility for his safety with no need worrying about.
    The meat pie to Mini Burger is what principle to a man. Without the meat pie, itíll be tasteless. Without the principle, the man cannot be called a man. As the saying goes, being smooth on the surface, but firm at heart is an important interpersonal skills. Heís sure to practice the skills. Towards most of the things, heís tolerant. But the principles of him cannot be break up by anyone. For example, never will he cross the road when the red lights are on or jump a queue no matter how long it is. Moreover, you donít need to worry about whether heíll owe money to you. He doesnít owe anybody anything.
    But whatever happens, one thing will not be changed-his hobby of eating Mini Burger.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #2

    Re: Please help me to correct the grammar mistakes! I'm so hurried. Thanks!

    Hi - Please see my edits in bold below.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric94 View Post
    Introduction of my friend
    Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, Iíll introduce you to a friend of mine.

    When I first saw him, I thought he was so funny. And when I first heard his name, I imagined KFC's Mini Burger. (You know, KFC's cheapest hamburger.) He shares some common features with the Mini Burger. So can you guess who he is? Yes, heís Sam.

    Heís not tall and fat, so heís a "Mini Boy".

    Much like how the meat patty of the Mini Burger is protected on both sides by the bread, so is Sam. Heís introverted and shy. Seldom does he speak to other people, especially girls in an alien environment. He has a strong sense of self protection as well. He won't risk going to a dangerous place or playing with unfamiliar people, as he knows heís necessary to his family, teachers and friends. Heís full of concern for his safety.

    The meat patty is to the Mini Burger what principle is to a man. Without the meat patty, itíll be tasteless. Without the principle, the man cannot be called a man. As the saying goes, being smooth on the surface, but firm at heart is an important interpersonal skill. Heís sure to practice this skill. Toward most things, heís tolerant. But his principles cannot be broken by anyone. For example, he will never cross the road when the light is red or jump a queue, no matter how long it is. Moreover, you donít need to worry about if heíll owe you money. He doesnít owe anybody anything.

    But whatever happens, one thing will never change-his hobby of eating the Mini Burger.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,921
    #3

    Re: Please help me to correct the grammar mistakes! I'm so hurried. Thanks!

    Eric94, in your title you said "I'm so hurried". What was the reason for that? Why were you in a hurry?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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