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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Unhappy Cover Letter proofread. Please, i am baging you to help me!

    Hi everybody,

    Here is my motivation letter. I think it's way too long, but i really don't know what exactly should i delete.

    Could someone give me some advice or suggestion.

    Thank you in advance.


    Motivation letter

    I am applying to the program MA Journalism starting in September 2014.
    I graduated in June 2012 from a Specialist training program in Journalism with an "Excellent” mark (please note, "excellent" is the highest possible mark) in the final State Interdisciplinary Examination in Journalism. I specialized in Literary and Art criticism. My thesis was called: "Glossy journalism development: the role of fashion blogs", where I provide a research on how social media (i.g blogs specialized in fashion) have changed contemporary print fashion media.
    During the course, I acquired the necessary theoretical basics and diversified knowledge in the fundamentals of art, the history of art, theory of literature and journalism.
    My academic career began with the study of general humanities, social and economic subjects as well as general professional courses, such as the study of the techniques and skills needed for a professional correspondent.
    During the first two years of my studies I focused on researching fundamentals of methods and principles of the Theory of Literature and the analysis of texts. Based on my interests I wrote several course papers. In one of them - "Sentimentalism in late 18th century literature, a study of the novel Poor Liza` by Nikolay Karamzin", I highlighted the main features associated with this genre in the period of the second half of the 18th century. I also studied the interpretation of literature, the ways of analysing authors creative manners, and prepared a paper which gave specific examples of the distinctions between works by classical, medieval and modern critics both Russian and foreign. More than any other period, I was impressed by the 19th century criticism and its aesthetic ideas to literary study.
    Besides the University subjects, I was actively involved in extra-curricular activities. I was taught by an inspiring community of experienced academics and leading specialist practitioners. Thus, I took a part in the "36th International Conference of the Russian Society of American Culture Studies, Nature and Sustainability of Culture” (December 2010). Furthermore, I acted as rapporteur at the seminar which was called: "Digital frontiers: tradition media practices in the age of convergence" (November 2010). In this seminar I explored the proliferation of news outlets and demographic niches of a fragmented audience on behalf of my team.
    The emphasis put on interdisciplinarity in these conferences accomplished with hands-on experience provided by the leading specialists helped me choose my specific career path. I was fascinated by the ideas of the new trajectories of contemporary journalism and its transformations into the on-line format. I have come to conclusion that despite the negative trends that some people believe an on-line format has, the combination of the traditional newspapers paired with the "new media", has increased the ability for the public to get their news in a rapid manner and at the same time giving them a wider range of content.
    In order to stay relevant and be recognized as a professional both nationally and internationallyin this constantly changing media environment, I find it essential to obtain further education and focus on the practical skills of journalism, social media and classical journalism.
    So that i could gain a better understanding of how multi-platform journalism is viewed abroad and increase my professional level I decided to study at Wroclaw University (Wroclaw, Poland). In one six-month period (01.12 – 06.12), I did a Study Abroad course with the major subject Media in the World. I was grateful for this opportunity to study abroad as it revealed to me how people viewed media differently. As part of the Communication Design course I headed a project on the importance of how the layout of nonverbal as well as verbal information messages appeal to readers of different backgrounds and nationalities.
    Despite having studied and worked abroad, I have no difficulty in expressing my thoughts verbally and in writing as can be seen in my records at university and portfolio. During my time in Wroclaw, I gained valuable experience as a writer and editor of the art section of Wroclaw International newspaper. I was able to practice the area of Journalism that has most fascinated me in resent years - cover of theoretical and practical issues of different types of art and artistic culture.
    This experience gave me the opportunity to make a significant step into the professional sphere and started to shape my own professional path. Despite my dedicated and passioned attitude to writing, I was curios about the other sides of a career in communications which attract me. As a result I transitioned to public relations for one year on a position of Account Executive in Russian-American PR agency “Ketchum Maslov PR”. I have learned and developed a set of new skills, moreover I was able to take a look at the journalism from different perspectives, which undoubtedly opened up for me a new opportunities. I was able to work in a team, adopting my writing skills and as a result write high-quality content, and also analyze it from journalist perspectives. In spite of my new role in communication branding I still uphold the questions of ethics, fact-checking and good writing, moreover I have altered my writing style and have broadened my knowledge in communications and brand marketing.
    All in all, the mixed professional background I have, has formed my unique vision which, I believe would help me to become a worthy addition to the great international community on the Master Program at your University. Having passed through two communication paths I was able to compare and analyze which field is closer to me professionally and where I can realize my professional and academical potentials. I have came to the conclusion that journalism is the field of my deep interest and an absolute dedication. I feel completely sure about my further professional goals, namely to become a professional writer specializing in art and culture using both my mother tongue as well as English and develop my career in multicultural and bilingual environment. I’m convinced that my personal aspirations will be tuned with the studies’ direction.
    Due to the modern facilities your university has provide, its widely recognised as one of the main innovates center with state of the art media facilities. The exceptional learning environment, centre for media and communications research, the possibility of knowledge exchange and distinguished teachers, I believe can support my researches and consequently help to go directly into employment in global and transnational media business. That’s why I strive to take part in your educational establishment together with progressive international youth.



  2. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,134
    #2

    Re: Cover Letter proofread. Please, i am baging you to help me!

    Warning: I am NOT an expert on motivation letters.

    I have underlined the parts that, in my opinion, are unnecessary.


    Motivation letter

    I am applying to the program MA Journalism starting in September 2014.
    I graduated in June 2012 from a Specialist training program in Journalism with an "Excellent” mark (please note, "excellent" is the highest possible mark) in the final State Interdisciplinary Examination in Journalism. I specialized in Literary and Art criticism. My thesis was called: "Glossy journalism development: the role of fashion blogs", where I provide a research on how social media (i.g blogs specialized in fashion) have changed contemporary print fashion media.
    During the course, I acquired the necessary theoretical basics and diversified knowledge in the fundamentals of art, the history of art, theory of literature and journalism.
    My academic career began with the study of general humanities, social and economic subjects as well as general professional courses, such as the study of the techniques and skills needed for a professional correspondent.
    During the first two years of my studies I focused on researching fundamentals of methods and principles of the Theory of Literature and the analysis of texts. Based on my interests I wrote several course papers. In one of them - "Sentimentalism in late 18th century literature, a study of the novel Poor Liza` by Nikolay Karamzin", I highlighted the main features associated with this genre in the period of the second half of the 18th century. I also studied the interpretation of literature, the ways of analysing authors creative manners, and prepared a paper which gave specific examples of the distinctions between works by classical, medieval and modern critics both Russian and foreign. More than any other period, I was impressed by the 19th century criticism and its aesthetic ideas to literary study.
    Besides the University subjects, I was actively involved in extra-curricular activities. I was taught by an inspiring community of experienced academics and leading specialist practitioners. Thus, I took a part in the "36th International Conference of the Russian Society of American Culture Studies, Nature and Sustainability of Culture” (December 2010). Furthermore, I acted as rapporteur at the seminar which was called: "Digital frontiers: tradition media practices in the age of convergence" (November 2010). In this seminar I explored the proliferation of news outlets and demographic niches of a fragmented audience on behalf of my team.
    The emphasis put on interdisciplinarity in these conferences accomplished with hands-on experience provided by the leading specialists helped me choose my specific career path. I was fascinated by the ideas of the new trajectories of contemporary journalism and its transformations into the on-line format. I have come to conclusion that despite the negative trends that some people believe an on-line format has, the combination of the traditional newspapers paired with the "new media", has increased the ability for the public to get their news in a rapid manner and at the same time giving them a wider range of content.
    In order to stay relevant and be recognized as a professional both nationally and internationallyin this constantly changing media environment, I find it essential to obtain further education and focus on the practical skills of journalism, social media and classical journalism.
    So that i could gain a better understanding of how multi-platform journalism is viewed abroad and increase my professional level I decided to study at Wroclaw University (Wroclaw, Poland). In one six-month period (01.12 – 06.12), I did a Study Abroad course with the major subject Media in the World. I was grateful for this opportunity to study abroad as it revealed to me how people viewed media differently. As part of the Communication Design course I headed a project on the importance of how the layout of nonverbal as well as verbal information messages appeal to readers of different backgrounds and nationalities.
    Despite having studied and worked abroad, I have no difficulty in expressing my thoughts verbally and in writing as can be seen in my records at university and portfolio. During my time in Wroclaw, I gained valuable experience as a writer and editor of the art section of Wroclaw International newspaper. I was able to practice the area of Journalism that has most fascinated me in resent years - cover of theoretical and practical issues of different types of art and artistic culture.
    This experience gave me the opportunity to make a significant step into the professional sphere and started to shape my own professional path. Despite my dedicated and passioned attitude to writing, I was curios about the other sides of a career in communications which attract me. As a result I transitioned to public relations for one year on a position of Account Executive in Russian-American PR agency “Ketchum Maslov PR”. I have learned and developed a set of new skills, moreover I was able to take a look at the journalism from different perspectives, which undoubtedly opened up for me a new opportunities. I was able to work in a team, adopting my writing skills and as a result write high-quality content, and also analyze it from journalist perspectives. In spite of my new role in communication branding I still uphold the questions of ethics, fact-checking and good writing, moreover I have altered my writing style and have broadened my knowledge in communications and brand marketing.
    All in all, the mixed professional background I have, has formed my unique vision which, I believe would help me to become a worthy addition to the great international community on the Master Program at your University. Having passed through two communication paths I was able to compare and analyze which field is closer to me professionally and where I can realize my professional and academical potentials. I have came to the conclusion that journalism is the field of my deep interest and an absolute dedication. I feel completely sure about my further professional goals, namely to become a professional writer specializing in art and culture using both my mother tongue as well as English and develop my career in multicultural and bilingual environment. I’m convinced that my personal aspirations will be tuned with the studies’ direction.
    Due to the modern facilities your university has provide, its widely recognised as one of the main innovates center with state of the art media facilities. The exceptional learning environment, centre for media and communications research, the possibility of knowledge exchange and distinguished teachers, I believe can support my researches and consequently help to go directly into employment in global and transnational media business. That’s why I strive to take part in your educational establishment together with progressive international youth.


    [/QUOTE]

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • Belgium
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 5
    #3

    Re: Cover Letter proofread. Please, i am baging you to help me!

    If you are looking for help in creating a curriculum vitae go to: LINK REMOVED BY MODERATOR . You find a free sample, best graphic resumes, video resumes, free templates resumes, trends and more informations. Check it.

    http://createbestresume.blogspot.com/
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 29-Apr-2014 at 21:24. Reason: Removed link until user corrects profile info.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,919
    #4

    Re: Cover Letter proofread. Please, i am baging you to help me!

    cnz123, please check the information in your member profile. There are few people whose home country is Belgium yet their native language is American English and yet they are a student of English. In addition, your profile says you are in Australia. Your IP address says you are somewhere else. For now, I have removed the link you posted. If you correct your profile, we will consider putting it back.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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