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  1. Newbie
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      • Bahrain
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    #1

    Post Marriage

    Marriage is the most complicated thing in a human life. Also, choosing the partner for you is very difficult. However, I have my own expectations about my future spouse. The perfect partner for me should have a good appearance, a perfect job and a good personality.
    My spouse’s appearance is very important to me for several reasons. First of all, my husband should look strong. This is because I like muscular men and I feel like that he will protect me. Second, my future husband should have long hair. This is because he will look cool and modern like what I like. Finally, he should have blue eyes because he will look like a romantic guy. I think my future husband will look like a rocker guy because his muscles, long hair and blue eyes.
    Also, my spouse’s job is very important to me for several reasons. First, my future husband should work in a hospital. This is because I will work in a hospital and I want to marry someone who understands my job. Also, we will be able to talk together about our jobs. Second, he should have a vacation every year. This is because I like to travel and I want to travel with him every year. Finally, my future husband’s work hours shouldn’t be too long. This is because I want him to help me in our home and I want to spend time together. My future husband should have a perfect job and this isn’t easy.
    Another thing, my spouse’s personality is the most important thing to me for several reasons. First, I want to marry someone who is funny. This is because I don’t like sadness and awkwardness feelings. So, we will be close to each other by talking together about funny things. Second, my future husband should be faithful and he shouldn’t cheat on me because this will break my heart. Finally, he should be positive because we will be a happy couple if we have positive thoughts. Also, my husband’s personality will affect me and our children in the future.
    Appearance, job and personality are very important things to me in my future spouse. Also, I know that I shouldn’t have high expectations about my spouse because there is no completely perfect person in the world. However, I will live a beautiful life if I have a spouse with all these characteristics.




    this is my essay. I wrote this by myself and i want to make sure that every thing is right
    I want you to tell me about my mistakes.
    and the articles are important to me.
    please help me to improve my writing skills.
    Last edited by Hara42; 16-Apr-2014 at 21:51.

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    #2

    Re: Marriage

    Marriage is the most complicated thing in a human life. Also, choosing the partner for you is very difficult. However, I have my own expectations about my future spouse. The perfect partner for me should have a good appearance, a perfect job and a good personality.

    My spouse’s appearance is very important to me for several reasons. First of all, my husband should look strong. This is because I like muscular men and I feel like that he will protect me. Second, my future husband should have long hair. This is because he will look cool and modern like what I like. Finally, he should have blue eyes because he will look like a romantic guy. I think my future husband will look like a rocker guy because his muscles, long hair and blue eyes.

    Also, my spouse’s job is very important to me for several reasons. First, my future husband should work in a hospital. This is because I will work in a hospital and I want to marry someone who understands my job. Also, we will be able to talk together about our jobs. Second, he should have a vacation every year. This is because I like to travel and I want to travel with him every year. Finally, my future husband’s work hours shouldn’t be too long. This is because I want him to help me in our home and I want to spend time together. My future husband should have a perfect job and this isn’t easy.

    Another thing, my spouse’s personality is the most important thing to me for several reasons. First, I want to marry someone who is funny. This is because I don’t like sadness and awkwardness feelings. So, we will be close to each other by talking together about funny things. Second, my future husband should be faithful and he shouldn’t cheat on me because this will break my heart. Finally, he should be positive because we will be a happy couple if we have positive thoughts. Also, my husband’s personality will affect me and our children in the future.

    Appearance, job, and personality are very important things to me in my future spouse. Also, I know that I shouldn’t have high expectations about my spouse because there is no completely perfect person in the world. However, I will live a beautiful life if I have a spouse with all these characteristics.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
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      • Iran
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      • Iran

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
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    #3

    Re: Marriage

    it was one of the good essay that i read it recently.but i think you have a small mistake and it's this one:you didn't use moderate of "important " and you put it everywhere.
    thanks

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Marriage

    Ahmad Moghadam, if you are going to try to help other learners, you must start your post with "Not a teacher". You must also ensure that your own written English is correct when you try to help. You have used no capitalisation at all in your post, you have made errors with singular/plural and you have used punctuation badly.

    Hara42, what is the purpose of your essay? When will you submit it to your teacher/tutor?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Marriage

    thanks emsr2d2, i'm a learner and i wanna learn more so i didn't have any bad purpose.You said i have made errors with singular/plural may you say them?Believe me i can't recognize them?

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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      • American English
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    #6

    Re: Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmad moghadam View Post
    thanks emsr2d2, i'm a learner and i wanna learn more so i didn't have any bad purpose.You said i have made errors with singular/plural may you say them?Believe me i can't recognize them?
    Please note these corrections: Pay careful attention all my changes. In particular, don't use "wanna" and capitalize "I." Leave a space after your punctuation marks.

    Thanks, emsr2d2.
    I'm a learners and I want to learn more. I didn't have any bad intentions.
    You said I made errors with singular/plural. Could you show them to me? Believe me, I can't recognize them.

    ***
    Welcome to the forums. I think you need to be a little more practiced in your own use of English before you offer corrections to others, even if you do want to help.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #7

    Re: Marriage

    Thanks, Bar-D
    I will consider your recommendations in my next posts.

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