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    #1

    Feedback on my ECPE writing

    Hello! As part of my preparation for the ECPE (Examination for the Certificate of Proficiency in English), I've written 3 compositions, which I'd like to receive some feedback on, along with useful comments and, perhaps, a grade on the scale of A,B,C,D,E or F. The word limit is 250-300 words and candidates are allowed strictly 30 minutes and these 3 compositions have all been written in 30 minutes. Could you tell me what my strengths and weaknesses are so that I have time to work on them during the 2 weeks left until the exam? They're not intended to be handed in to a teacher. They're just for practice. Thanks in advance!
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  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Feedback on my ECPE writing

    Be aware that many of us will not be prepared to click on a link that makes us download anything to our computers. If the link made your documents open online within the browser, people would probably be happy to click on it.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Feedback on my ECPE writing

    Sure, but how am I supposed to make the document open within the browser?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Feedback on my ECPE writing

    I have no idea. The best thing to do is for you to type (or copy and paste) the first of your 3 compositions into a post on this thread. That way, several people can look at it and we will be able to make suggested amendments/corrections by quoting your piece and amending it. 250-300 words is probably the longest you'll get anyone to look at in one go. Even then, we might break it down into paragraphs and do it a small part at a time.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #5

    Re: Feedback on my ECPE writing

    Alright, there you go! Remember that the purpose of my posting them is for you to give me some feedback, along with useful comments and perhaps a grade (A,B,C). Point out my weaknesses and tell me what I could do to work on them during the week left until the final exam. And always bear in mind that we're allowed 30 minutes strictly!

    Topic 1

    The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world's cities are a direct result of the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this, many cities have taken measures to encourage people to use their cars less and public transportation more. How effective have these measures been in your country? What new measures do you think should be put into effect to improve the situation?

    The ever-growing number of private cars in use is constantly having many ramifications on the atmosphere of every city. However, many cities decided not to be passive, but take action instead. Measures have been taken to encourage residents to use the public transit more frequently and their vehicles less often.

    Greece, known for its congested streets and people's love for their automobiles, can now start seeing the future in a new light, as the measures taken have proven to be quite effective so far. It is noteworthy that the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere have decreased dramatically. All these "gray" cities have now become "green" and people can enjoy reinvigorating walks in the park after a long day! Furthermore, people are now investing significantly less in their cars, since the majority of the population use eco-friendly means of transportation such as buses or bicycles.

    Nonetheless, in order for these positive results not to be temporary but permanent, more measures need to be put into effect so that people foster an environmentally friendly lifestyle once and for all. Something that most cities lack are bike lanes. Their installation would enable residents to use their bikes on a daily basis so as to go to work, to the supermarket etc. and not go everywhere in their car! In addition, campaigns could be organized in the local community with a view to raising people's awareness and making them feel preoccupied with the future of their city.

    In conclusion, each and every one of us should care about their future. The measures that have already been taken are quite effective, which means that if new measures and more of them were introduced, all cities would be in for a big, "green" change!

    Topic 2
    In December of 2006, Time Magazine surprised the world by selecting "you" as its Person of the Year. The award was made in recognition of the fact that you (and/or people you know) are helping to change society by taking part in Internet activities such as blogging, sharing videos and music, and social networking. What is your opinion of Time's choice? Do you feel that people who take part in these Internet activities are helping to change society? Support your ideas with reasons and examples.

    Millions of people worldwide, including me, participate in online activities like blogging, sharing videos and music and social networking. It is believed by many that we somehow contribute to the evolution of our society and alter it in various ways. In recognition of this, Time Magazine selected "Us" as its Person of the Year in 2006, a choice that greatly astonished the world!

    From my standpoint, Time's choice is highly commendable as this magazine was not only innovative doing something that no other rival had even done before, but it "got off the beaten track", not selecting an internationally renowned and distinguished name. It is important that such a great magazine decided to praise these people for their work, which, though not widely recognized, is greatly affecting our world.

    The every single action of these people is indeed oriented to helping to change society. The Web is the fastest and most effective way to spread news, rumors etc. all over the world. No wonder an interesting, recently-uploaded video goes viral within a few hours, if not minutes! Dozens of millions of people express their views on a myriad of different matters every second. And these are people from every corner of the world, ranging from a small, remote village in Nevada to a big, urban area in China. As a result, a huge virtual community is formed which helps people become more and more open-minded and not stick exclusively to their own views, but also accept the different mentality of other people.

    On the whole, Time's move deserves to be highly praised as it recognized these people's efforts to change the world, which allow for the connection of people from all around the world.

    Topic 3
    An American humorist once said, "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book." Over the years people have been very critical of television. Do you think that television is living up to its full potential as a form of mass media, or are there other, more beneficial ways that it could be used? Support your ideas with specific examples.

    Television is an invention that, unlike others, has sparked off a great deal of controversy over the years. Some people believe that its current use enables us to make the most of it, while others argue that it could be utilized in different ways so that people really benefited from it.

    The question is "Is TV living up to its full potential?". Personally, I am of the opinion that it is far from that. There is no control whatsoever over the programs shown, sometimes resulting in obscene ones with crude language and violent scenes. This is absolutely indignant as young audiences are negatively psychologically affected and their exposure to such inappropriate programs can usually also affect their character and behavior.

    However, how could television be used in more beneficiary ways? First of all, stricter censorship should be enacted, taking into account that youngsters watch television too. In addition, there could be more educational programs for all ages, which would help both young children and adults as well. Another area to exploit would be documentaries intended to raise people's awareness in a myriad of different matters such as global warming. If this happened, viewers would be more willing to spend some of their time watching TV than they are now that the vast majority of programs shown are meaningless.

    All in all, television is a powerful tool but only when used appropriately and for people's benefit. There are so many things it is currently doing badly, but there is no doubt that if changes were made, it would be improved dramatically and viewers would gain something from it!

    Note: When I handwrite the compositions, I indent the first line of each paragraph, but here I intentionally chose to leave a line blank, because otherwise the thread screws it up!

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