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    #1

    Post Transitional words

    I find myself having difficulty using the transitional words in my writing. Please check if I have used the underlined words correctly in the below paragraph.

    Silvia’s new classmates were very rude to her; for example, they made fun of her English accent. Furthermore, they complained that she was always doing wrong things when teacher was not in the class. Silvia always tried so hard to take it easy and to make the relationship better with the classmates. Nevertheless, everybody was so hard on her that they did not want to talk to Silvia and nobody wanted to play with her either. Meanwhile, Silvia became very frustrated that so many days she stayed home because she was not able to handle the stress she got from her school friends. Consequently, she was mentally so sick and was not feeling good enough to come to school. As a result, her test results were not very good at all. Silvia was a very good student in her previous school. Without a doubt, she would do better on her tests if the whole atmosphere were helping her at all.

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Transitional words

    You have dome very well. In the first sentence, you cannot use "for example" to connect two clauses. Either place a semicolon before "for" or make a new sentence starting with "For example".

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Transitional words

    I would say that Consequently she became frustrated... As a result, she was mentally so sick... Meanwhile..

    There are quite a few things in here that make this writing not very natural. (Among other things, we don't use transition words between every sentence.) For example, "she was always doing wrong things" is not natural.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Transitional words

    I suspected he was just practicing.

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