The essay is my profile picture. Please take a [strike]loom[/strike] look. I need feedback.
Welcome to the forum.
Unfortunately, your post does not make sense. You do not have a profile picture and it would be impossible to write an essay in a space the size of a picture!
If you want us to look at an essay, you have to wait until you have submitted it for marking to your teacher and then you can ask us questions about your teacher's comments and corrections. If you haven't submitted it yet, we can't look at it.