POOR DAN IS IN A DROOPThere once was a man named Dan. He was wise and attracted many followers. They all lived near him and became known as Dan's clan.
The government feared the Clan of Dan for their enlightened wisdom, and plotted their downfall. They passed laws and soon the Clan of Dan was exiled to live by the river. There they had plenty of water, however.
The government saw that they had water and plotted some more. They evicted the Clan of Dan from its land, forcing it to move far from the river.
But the members of the clan were wise, and they dug a trench from the river to their new land.
Then the government passed a new law that forbade the Clan of Dan from taking any water anywhere in the state. So they dug the trench all the way north to the Canadian border, and the Canadian government promised them water, and the trench became a great canal, and so they prevailed.
And the moral of this dumb story, if you didn't already see it a mile away,
A Dan, a clan, a canal - Canada!