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    #1

    while

    "At first I felt like a fish out of water. I had lived and studied on a university campus for five years before marriage, attending classes wearing T-shirts, shorts or pyjamas and even bathroom slippers. And here I was, in the Indian Army, among the best-dressed and finest ladies one can ever find."

    I rephrased above sentences. Let me know if it is correct?

    At first I felt like a fish out of water. I had lived and studied on a university campus for five years before marriage, while attending classes wearing T-shirts, shorts or pyjamas and even bathroom slippers. And here I was, in the Indian Army, among the best-dressed and finest ladies one can ever find.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: while

    The original is better, "while" does not belong there.

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    #3

    Re: while

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    The original is better, "while" does not belong there.
    I have again rephrased it. Please let me know if it is correct?
    "At first I felt like a fish out of water. I had lived and studied on a university campus for five years before marriage and attended classes wearing T-shirts, shorts or pyjamas and even bathroom slippers. And here I was, in the Indian Army, among the best-dressed and finest ladies one can ever find."

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    #4

    Re: while

    That works, but the original is better, IMO.

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    #5

    Re: while

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    That works, but the original is better, IMO.
    Thanks for the reply.
    I always be confused with these types of sentences, I can not be able to figure out whether to use the original version or third version of the sentence?
    Any suggestion please?

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