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  1. Newbie
    Retired Academic
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    #1

    Red face My Essay

    Hi, everyone.Although I am new member, I study English, and I am going to take an exam, so I wrote the essay. I want you to evaluate the essay and say to me my mistake. Indeed, I love children but my topic is so. Thank you :)

    • CAUSE OF DECIDING NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN
    • Children is the prettiest entities and parents who have children is the luckiest people in the World. we forget our troubles when we take care of our childrens . Every person does not think so. Some people do not want to have children these days .There are a lot of causes of deciding not to have children ; however, two stand out; economic, and responsibility.
    • The first and maybe the most important cause of deciding not to have children is economic. First of all, People have to spend money for eating food, so they continue their lives. Thus,Parents having children have to spend money for growing their children. Secondly one of these parents,especially mothers, must give up their works because of the fact that children do not eat food , clean yourself and drink water on their own ; besides , they need their mother.If these mothers give up their work , income of family will declare and economi of family will aggravate.
    • The another important cause of deciding not to have children is responsibility. It refers to work, and social life. Firstly, people who are deciding not to have children want not to have more responsibilities for their work life. Mothers do not go to work when their children born ; thus , their work that is not done will pile up day by day and mothers will have got more responsibility for ending their work. Secondly, having children means extra responsibility for their parents’ social life. These parents do not go to out whenever they want because children can have trouble condition, cry , and want to drink milk when their parents are out.
    • To sum up, the two basic causes of deciding not to have children are economic and responsibility. If we want to have children , we should think everthing,we do not forget that the more you have children , the more you have difficulties.
    Last edited by okko; 31-May-2014 at 20:03.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: My Essay

    Welcome to the forum.

    Check your capitalisation. You have inexplicably capitalised words like world, people and parents.
    Check the spacing around your punctuation. Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, semi-colon, question mark or exclamation mark. Always put a space after those punctuation marks.
    Check your use of the singular and plural. In your first paragraph you have "Children is" and "parents who have children is". Both are incorrect.
    "Childrens" is not a word.

    When you sort out those things, we can look at the actual content.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
    Retired Academic
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      • Turkish
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      • Turkey
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      • Turkey

    • Join Date: May 2014
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    #3

    Re: My Essay

    Thank you again :)
    I consider your advice,and I'll continue writing essay.
    I wonder whether meaning of essay,and supporting idea etc. are good?
    Last edited by okko; 01-Jun-2014 at 12:36.

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    #4

    Re: My Essay

    Bullet points have no place in an essay.

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: My Essay

    You need to read this one again:
    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Check the spacing around your punctuation. Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, semi-colon, question mark or exclamation mark. Always put a space after those punctuation marks.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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