Student or Learner
I wrote a spooky story, I was trying to imitate telltale heart and would like your opinions on it and if there are any mistakes please tell me, I'd like to improve my English as much as I can.
Oh So Stygian
I saw that the entrance to the tunnel was the only way out so close yet so far.
I'd like to just get up and walk towards the entrance like a super star.
I cannot for my body was still traumatised.
My body was petrified, frozen, immobilised.
All I could do was just stare, stare in silence.
Stare into this endless void of 'darkness' that once again appeared before I, Lawrence.
Is it darkness, darkness that feels so grudging?
Although I could just be misjudging.
I guess you could also call it an apparition or a ghost.
This darkness, this 'thing' has no body, no illuminance or any obvious silhouette like most.
Oh why did I go on this treasure hunt?
My debt was only due in a month.
I was making chit chat with myself while I stared at the darkness that embowered me.
I finally started to regain some of my strength, some of it was returning you see.
So as such I attempted to get up only to instantly fall, I tried again but still to no avail.
I tried once again and finally I was at-least able to get onto my knees, I inhale.
My gaze returned to the darkness and as I stared into its endless void I felt it again, yes, I felt like my body, my mind, my sanity was getting dragged into the darkness.
Of course I tried to look away but my eyes were attracted to the darkness like a maggot was to a carcass.
It was obvious that it was futile fighting against the darkness, nevertheless, I still tried.
I told my body to move, my mind my was screaming in agony, screaming at my body to move, at last my body began moving again, "Yes, finally!" I cried.
I first attempted lifting my right leg off the ground then my left but then!
I saw, yes I saw, I witnessed something, something starting to form, it was...my lovely wedded wife Caitlyn.
I remember that we went snorkelling back when we weren't distant.
It was fun until that stupid shark appeared and attacked her right in front of me, she disappeared in an instant.
then all that was left in sight was this dark red liquid and the oh so dark depth of the ocean in the background being looked upon by the petrified me.
Yes, I was always quite a coward, a pathetic coward worst than a pea.
My once wedded wife, the one that appeared from the darkness had wide and opened arms that were oh so accepting.
Though right now you're probably thinking that I'm going insane saying that my once wedded wife appeared from and out of the darkness, I assure you I am not, I am not going insane you insolent insect that's so menacing
Do you even know what the true meaning of insanity is?
No! That's right no, you don't know, I however do, that's right, I who graduated from Victorians University, I who got his masters degree in education at the age of 15, I'm the one who knows what the meaning of insanity is.
The meaning is not even hard to harness.
Insanity means to go insane, it means to have your sanity, your humanity, disappear, disappear into the darkest of darkness.
My wife, my once wedded wife started to chant "Come, join me", I felt entranced, I opened my arms and leapt into those arms of my wife or so I thought.
I fall, I passed straight through my wife and onto the ground, I was shocked.
My body was once again immobilised, I'm not sure if lucky or of some godly powers but my body was positioned in such a way in which I could see nothing, nothing but the entrance to the tunnel and without a doubt.
... I saw that the entrance to the tunnel was the only way out.
Last edited by English Boy; 06-Jun-2014 at 09:27.